The Burning Spear: Being the Experiences of Mr. John Lavender in the Time of WarGalsworthy, John
General
The Burning Spear: Being the Experiences of Mr. John Lavender in the Time of War
Galsworthy, John
World War, 1914-1918 -- Humor, caricatures, etc.
And, convinced that he would now be dragged away to be confined in some
dungeon on bread and water, he clasped the leg of the dining-table with
all his might, while Blink, sagaciously aware that something peculiar
was occurring to her master, licked the back of his neck. He had been
sitting there perhaps half a minute, with his ears stretched to catch
the half-whispered sounds above, when he saw a shining object appear
under the table, the head, indeed, of the Prussian squatting there to
look at him.
“Go up, thou bald-head,” he called out at once; “I will make no terms
with the destroyer of justice and humanity.”
“All right, my dear sir,” replied the head.
“Will you let my daughter speak to you?”
“Prussian blasphemer,” responded Mr. Lavender, shifting his position so
as to be further away, and clasping instead of the table leg some soft
silken objects, which he was too excited to associate with Aurora,
“you have no daughter, for no woman would own one whose hated presence
poisons this country.”
“Well, well,” said the Major. “How shall we get him out?”
Hearing these words, and believing them addressed to a Prussian guard,
Mr. Lavender clung closer to the objects, but finding them wriggle in
his clasp let go, and, bolting forward like a rabbit on his hands
and knees, came into contact with the Major's head. The sound of the
concussion, the Major's oaths, Mr. Lavender's moans, Blink's barking,
and the peals of laughter from Aurora made up a noise which might have
been heard in Portugal. The situation was not eased until Mr. Lavender
crawled out, and taking up a dinner-knife, rolled his napkin round his
arm, and prepared to defend himself against the German Army.
“Well, I'm damned,” said the Major when he saw these preparations; “I am
damned.”
Aurora, who had been leaning against the wall from laughter, here came
forward, gasping:
“Go away, Dad, and leave him to me.”
“To you!” cried the Major. “He's not safe!”
“Oh yes, he is; it's only you that are exciting him. Come along!”
And taking her father by the arm she conducted him from the room.
Closing the door behind him, and putting her back against it, she said,
gently:
“Dear Don Pickwixote, all danger is past. The enemy has been repulsed,
and we are alone in safety. Ha, ha, ha!”
Her voice recalled. Mr. Lavender from his strange hallucination. “What?”
he said weakly.
“Why? Who? Where? When?”
“You have been dreaming again. Let me take you home, and tuck you
into bed.” And taking from him the knife and napkin, she opened the
French-window, and passed out on to the lawn.
Lavender, who now that his reason had come back, would have followed her
to the death, passed out also, accompanied by Blink, and watched by the
Major, who had put his head in again at the door. Unfortunately, the
spirit moved Mr. Lavender to turn round at this moment, and seeing the
head he cried out in a loud voice:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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