Whilst the prosecutor was being examined by the Advocate General, I conned over the indictment with a meditative countenance, but without being able to see my way in the least. The captain, scowling atrociously at me and my persecuted friend, gave his evidence with the bitterest animosity. He proved his losses, and the facts of the store-room door having been broken open, and the prisoner and most of the sailors being found drunk by him on his repairing one evening to the vessel. It now became my turn to ask questions, as Prisoner's Counsel. Your ship, Captain W., is commonly called a Temperance ship, is it not? Captain (after a ferocious stare). I should think you knew that. P. Counsel. And being a temperance ship, you do not allow the men, at any time, any other liquor than water? Captain. No. P. Counsel. In temperance ships, I suppose it sometimes happens that the men contrive to buy liquor for themselves? Captain (looking like a bull about to charge a matadore). Boo! P. Counsel. Do you remember the day we were off Madeira? Captain stares and snorts. P. Counsel. Do you remember on that day several of the sailors being remarkably light-headed -- reeling about the deck? Captain (roaring, and striking the table with his hand). Yes! P. Counsel. Was this the effect of a 'coup de soleil', do you think? Captain. No! P. Counsel. Very well. Do you remember, whilst we were on the Line, the second-mate being in your cabin helping Mrs. W. to stow away some things in the lazarette, and both being found afterwards extremely unwell, and obliged to be taken to bed? Chairman (interfering). I think the witness need not answer that question. Advocate General. I should have made the same objection, Sir, but -- (aside) I was laughing too much. P. Counsel. Very well, Sir. I will not press it if it be disagreeable. Do you remember at St. Jago the whole of the crew being every day notoriously drunk -- from eating water-melons? Captain (recovering from an apoplectic fit). Ah-h! P. Counsel. Do you remember, when off the Cape, the sail-maker and several others being unable to do their duty, and being pronounced by the doctor to be in a state of liquor? Captain. Yes. P. Counsel. Then, as it appears that on board of a temperance ship, men do occasionally (and in your vessel very often) get drunk, might not the prisoner at the time of his alleged offence have been drinking other liquor than that which formed part of your stores? Chairman (the Captain being too full of rage to articulate). The jury will be able to draw their own inference as to that. Captain. It was he, gentlemen; it was this -- gentleman (forsooth -- ha! ha!) who gave the men money on landing in order to make them drunk. P. Counsel. Thank you for that evidence. The intelligent gentlemen in the box will perceive that it was at my expense that the unfortunate prisoner got drunk, and not at the captain's.