The Business of Being a WomanTarbell, Ida M. (Ida Minerva)
General
The Business of Being a Woman
Tarbell, Ida M. (Ida Minerva)
Women -- Social and moral questions
The central fact of the woman's life--Nature's reason for her--is the
child, his bearing and rearing. There is no escape from the divine
order that her life must be built around this constraint, duty, or
privilege, as she may please to consider it. But from the beginning to
the end of life she is never permitted to treat it naturally and
frankly. As a child accepting all that opens to her as a matter of
course, she is steered away from it as if it were something evil. Her
first essays at evasion and spying often come to her in connection
with facts which are sacred and beautiful and which she is perfectly
willing to accept as such if they were treated intelligently and
reverently. If she could be kept from all knowledge of the procession
of new life except as Nature reveals it to her, there would be reason
in her treatment. But this is impossible. From babyhood she breathes
the atmosphere of unnatural prejudices and misconceptions which
envelop the fact.
Throughout her girlhood the atmosphere grows thicker. She finally
faces the most perilous and beautiful of experiences with little more
than the ideas which have come to her from the confidences of
evil-minded servants, inquisitive and imaginative playmates, or the
gossip she overhears in her mother's society. Every other matter of
her life, serious and commonplace, has received careful attention, but
here she has been obliged to feel her way and, worst of abominations,
to feel it with an inner fear that she ought not to know or seek to
know.
If there were no other reason for the modern woman's revolt against
marriage, the usual attitude toward its central facts would be
sufficient. The idea that celibacy for woman is "the aristocracy of
the future" is soundly based if the Business of Being a Woman rests on
a mystery so questionable that it cannot be frankly and truthfully
explained by a girl's mother at the moment her interest and curiosity
seeks satisfaction. That she gets on as well as she does, results, of
course, from the essential soundness of the girl's nature, the armor
of modesty, right instinct, and reverence with which she is endowed.
The direst result of ignorance or of distorted ideas of this
tremendous matter of carrying on human life is that it leaves the girl
unconscious of the supreme importance of her mate. So heedlessly and
ignorantly is our mating done to-day that the huge machinery of Church
and State and the tremendous power of public opinion combined have
been insufficient to preserve to the institution of marriage anything
like the stability it once had, or that it is desirable that it should
have, if its full possibilities are to be realized. The immorality and
inhumanity of compelling the obviously mismated to live together, grow
on society. Divorce and separation are more and more tolerated. Yet
little is done to prevent the hasty and ill-considered mating which is
at the source of the trouble.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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