California -- Fiction; San Francisco (Calif.) -- Fiction; Upper class -- Fiction; Western stories
understand what my past has been; but I also want you to understand that
I am not the same man I was six months ago, and that you have worked the
change. When I crossed the continent, it is no exaggeration to say that
I had Hell in me,--that ferment of spirit which means mental nausea and
the desperate dodging of one's accusing soul. I suppose such a time
comes to most men who have persistently violated the original instinct
for good. With the lower orders it means crime; with the higher
civilisation a legion of imps shrieking in a man's soul. I will not say
that my particular band have been silent since I came here, for that
would mean moral obtuseness; but they are placated, and have consented
to fix a generous eye on the future. I believe, firmly believe, that my
future will atone for my past,--morally, I mean; I want you to
understand that I have wronged no man but myself, that I have been
guilty of no act unbecoming a gentleman. Now look at me and tell me that
you do not hate me."
Magdalena lifted her face. Her lips were dry and parted, her eyes
expanded, but not with horror.
"I love you," she said; "I am glad that I can help you."
They were near a huge oak whose limbs shut out the stars. Trennahan drew
her into its shadows and took her in his arms and kissed her many times.
He lifted her arms about him, and she clasped her hands tightly. He
might be business-like, without illusions, but he knew how to make love
with energy and grace. Magdalena from brain to sole was on fire with
adoration of him. The words of it surged toward speech, but reserve held
her even then. She only clung to him and breathed the passion which his
touch had startled. His own pulses were full, and he held her close,
glad that the spiritual desires had caught and embraced the human, and
that their chances for happiness were all that he could wish and a good
deal more than he deserved.
XXX
"Look!" whispered Magdalena.
They had reached the steps of the verandah, and were about to mount when
she laid her hand on his arm. Mr. Polk stood by one of the windows. His
head was thrust forward. He was staring into the room with hungry eyes
and twitching jaw. The light was full on his white face. In the room
Tiny was standing on a chair fanning Alan Rush. Fort was commanding Ila
to pick up his handkerchief. The others were laughing and applauding.
Lee and Coralie in their obscure corner were wide-eyed with excitement,
and happy. Mr. Polk's chest heaved spasmodically. He screwed up his
eyes. His face grinned. He looked like a man on the rack. He opened his
eyes and glared about; but he saw nothing, for they were blind with
tears. He turned and fled.
Magdalena clung to Trennahan, shaking. "Take me home," she said. "I
cannot stand any more to-night."
BOOK II
I
Helena was back.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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