“I am sorry!” exclaimed Pocket, as they stood over the blank sheet of
glass and gelatine; it was like looking at a slate from which some
infinitely precious message had been expunged unread. “I’m not sure
that you weren’t right after all; what’s water-tight must be more or
less light-tight, when you come to think of it. I say, what’s all this?
The other side oughtn’t to bulge like that!”
He picked the broken plate out of the side that was already open, and
weighed the slide in his hand; it was not heavy enough to contain
another plate, he declared with expert conviction; yet the side which
had not been opened was a slightly bulging but distinctly noticeable
convexity. Pocket opened it at a word from Phillida, and an over-folded
packet of MS. leapt out.
“It’s his writing!” cried the girl, with pain and awe in her
excitement. She had dropped the document at once.
“It’s in English,” said Pocket, picking it up.
“It must be what he was writing all last night!”
“It is.”
“You see what it is!” urged Phillida, feebly. But she watched him
closely as he read to himself:—
“_June_ 20, 190—.”
“It is a grim coincidence that I should sit down to reveal the secret
of my latter days on what is supposed to be the shortest night of the
year; for they must come to an end at sunrise, viz., at 3.44 according
to the almanac, and it is already after 10 p.m. Even if I sit at my
task till four I shall have less than six hours in which to do justice
to the great _ambition_ and the crowning folly of my life. I used the
underlined word advisedly; some would substitute ‘monomania,’ but I
protest I am as sane as they are, fail as I may to demonstrate that
fact among so many others to be dealt with in the very limited time at
my disposal. Had I more time, or the pen of a readier writer, I should
feel surer of vindicating my head if not my heart. But I have been ever
deliberate in all things (excepting, certainly, the supreme folly
already mentioned), and I would be as deliberate over the last words I
shall ever write, as in my final preparations for death——”.
“What is it?” asked Phillida, for his eyes had dilated as he read, and
he was breathing hard.
“He practically says he was going to commit suicide at daybreak! He’s
said so once already, but now he says it in so many words!”
“Well, we know he didn’t do it,” said Phillida, as though she found a
crumb of comfort in the thought.
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“Go on reading it aloud. I can bear it if that’s the worst.”
“But it isn’t, Phillida. I can see it isn’t!”
“Then let us read it together. I’d rather face it with you than
afterwards all by myself. We’ve seen each other through so much, surely
we can—surely——”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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