The Cameron pride; or, purified by suffering : $b A novelHolmes, Mary Jane
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The Cameron pride; or, purified by suffering : $b A novel
Holmes, Mary Jane
American fiction -- 19th century
“A man cannot always control his feelings, but he can strive to overcome
them and put them aside. One does not sin in _being_ tempted, but in
listening _to_ the temptation.”
“Then according to your own reasoning you have sinned, for you not only
have been tempted but have yielded to the temptation,” Wilford retorted,
with a sinister look of exultation in his black eyes.
For a moment Morris was silent, while a struggle of some kind seemed
going on in his mind, and then he said,
“I never thought to lay open to you a secret which, after myself, is, I
believe, known to only one living being.”
“And that one—is—is Katy?” Wilford exclaimed, his voice hoarse with
passion, and his eyes flashing with fire.
“No, not Katy. She has no suspicion of the pain which, since I saw her
made another’s, has eaten into my heart, making me grow old so fast, and
blighting my early manhood.”
Something in Morris’s tone and manner made Wilford relax his grasp upon
the arm, and sent him back to his chair while Morris continued,
“Most men would shrink from talking to a husband of the love they bore
his wife, and an hour ago I should have shrunk from it too, but you have
forced me to it, and now you must listen while I tell you of my love for
Katy. It began longer ago than she can remember—began when she was my
baby sister, and I hushed her in my arms to sleep, kneeling by her
cradle and watching her with a feeling I have never been able to define.
She was in all my thoughts, her face upon the printed page of every book
I studied, and her voice in every strain of music I ever heard. Then
when she grew older, I used to watch the frolicsome child by the hour,
building castles of the future, when she would be a woman, and I a man,
with a man’s right to win her. I know that she shielded me from many a
snare into which young men are apt to fall, for when the temptation was
greatest, and I was at its verge, a thought of her was sufficient to
lead me back to virtue. I carried her in my heart across the sea, and
said when I go back I will ask her to be mine. I went back, but at my
first meeting with Katy after her return from Canandaigua, she told me
of _you_, and I knew then that hope for me was gone. God grant that you
may never experience what I experienced on that day which made her your
wife, and I saw her go away. It seemed almost as if God had forgotten me
as the night after the bridal I sat alone at home, and met that dark
hour of sorrow. In the midst of it _Helen_ came, discovering my secret,
and sympathizing with me until the pain at my heart grew less, and I
could pray that God would grant me a feeling for Katy which should not
be sinful. And He did at last, so I could think of her without a wish
that she was mine. Times there were when the old love would burst forth
with fearful power, and then I wished that I might die. These were my
moments of temptation which I struggled to overcome. Sometimes a song, a
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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