She felt that she should be doing something, but what? She sat there,
straining her ear for sounds. "One always seems to be expecting some
one in this house," she thought. The weather that had been bright had
now changed and little gusts of rain beat upon the windows. She thought
with a sudden strange warmth of Uncle Mathew. What was he doing? Where
was he? How pleasant it would be were he suddenly to walk into that
chilly, dark room. She would not show him that she was lonely, but she
would give him such a welcome as he had never had from her before. Had
he money enough? Was he feeling perhaps as desolate amongst strangers
as she? The rain tickled the window-panes. Maggie, with a desolation at
her heart that she was too proud to own, sat there and waited.
She looked back afterwards upon that moment as the last shivering pause
before she made that amazing plunge that was to give her new life.
The sound of a little forlorn bell suddenly penetrated the rain. It was
just such a bell as rang every Sunday from chapels across the
Glebeshire moors, and Maggie knew, when Aunt Elizabeth opened the door
and looked in upon her, that the summons was for her.
"Oh! my dear (a favourite exclamation of Aunt Elizabeth's) and you're
not ready. The bell's begun. The rain's coming down very hard, I'm
afraid. It's only a step from our door. Your things, dear, as quick as
you can."
The girl ran upstairs and, stayed by some sudden impulse, stood for a
moment before the long mirror. It was as though she were imploring that
familiar casual figure that she saw there not to leave her, the only
friend she had in a world that was suddenly terrifying and alarming.
Her old black dress that had seemed almost smart for the St. Dreot
funeral now appeared most desperately shabby; she knew that her black
hat was anything but attractive.
"What do I care for them all!" her heart said defiantly. "What do they
matter to me!"
She marched out of the house behind the aunts with her head in the air,
very conscious of a hole in one of her thin black gloves.
The street, deserted, danced in the rain; the little bell clanged with
the stupid monotony of its one obstinate idea; the town wore its
customary Sunday air of a stage when the performance is concluded, the
audience vanished and the lights turned down. The aunts had a solemn
air as though they were carrying Maggie as a sacrifice. All these
things were depressing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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