"The end of myself or the Chapel, whichever comes first. I wrote a
story once--a very bad one--about some merchants--why merchants I don't
know--who were flung on a desert island. It was all jungle and
desolation, and then suddenly they came upon a little white Temple. It
doesn't matter what happened afterwards. I've myself forgotten most of
it, but I remember that the sailors used the Temple in different ways
to keep their hopes and expectations alive. Their expectations that one
day a ship would come and save them ... and so far as I remember they
became imaginative about the Temple, and fancied that the Unknown God
of it would help them to regain their private affairs: one of them
wanted to get back to his girl, another to his favourite pub, another
to his money-making, another to his collection of miniatures. And they
used to sit and look at the Temple day after day and expect something
to happen. When the ship came at last they wouldn't go into it because
they couldn't bear to think that something should happen at last and
they not be there to see it. Oh yes, one of them went back, I remember.
But his actual meeting with his girl was so disappointing in comparison
with his long expectation of it in front of the Temple that he took the
next boat back to the island ... but he never found it again. He
travelled everywhere and died, a disappointed man, at sea."
Mr. Magnus was fond of telling little stories, obscure and pointless,
and Maggie supposed that it was a literary habit. On this occasion he
continued to talk quite naturally for his own satisfaction. "Yes, one
can make oneself believe in anything. I have believed in all sorts of
things. In England, of course, people have believed in nothing except
that things will always be as they always have been--a useful belief
considering that things have never been as they always were. In the old
days, when the Boer War hadn't interfered with tradition, it must have
seemed to any one who wasn't a young man pretty hopeless, but now I
don't know. Imagination's breaking in ... Warlock's a prophet. I've got
fascinated, sitting round this Chapel, as badly as any of them. Yes,
one can be led into belief of anything."
"And what do you believe in, Mr. Magnus?" asked Maggie.
"Well, not in myself anyway, nor Thurston, nor Miss Avies ... But in
your Aunt perhaps, and Warlock. The only thing I'm sure of is that
there's something there, but what it is of course I can't tell you, and
I don't suppose I shall ever know. The story of Sir Galahad, Miss
Cardinal--it seems mid-Victorian to us now--but it's a fine story and
true enough."
Maggie, who knew nothing of mid-Victorianism, was silent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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