THEUROPIDES, a merchant of Athens. SIMO, an aged Athenian, his neighbour. PHILOLACHES, son of Theuropides. CALLIDAMATES, a young Athenian, friend of Philolaches. TRANIO, servant of Philolaches. GRUMIO, servant of Theuropides. PHANISCUS, servant of Callidamates. ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates. A BANKER. A BOY. PHILEMATIUM, a music-girl, mistress of Philolaches. SCAPHA, her attendant. DELPHIUM, mistress of Callidamates. _Scene_--Athens: before the houses of THEUROPIDES and SIMO. MOSTELLARIA [1] OR, THE HAUNTED HOUSE. [Footnote 1: _Mottellaria_) This is a word probably derived from "mostellum," the diminutive of "monstrum," a "spectre" or "prodigy." It was probably coined by Plautus to serve as the title of this Play, which is called by several of the ancient Commentators by the name of "Phasma," "the Apparition."] THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT. [Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.] PHILOLACHES has given liberty to (_Manumisit_) his mistress who has been bought _by him_, and he consumes all (_Omnem_) his substance in the absence of his father. When he returns, Tranio deceives the old man (_Senem_); he says that frightful (_Terrifica_) apparitions have been seen in the house, and (_Et_) that at once they had removed from it. A Usurer, greedy of gain (_Lucripeta_), comes up in the meantime, asking for the interest _of some money_, and again the old man is made sport of (_Lusus_) for the _servant_ says that a deposit for a house which has been bought has been taken up (_Acceptum_) on loan. _The old man_ enquires (_Requirit_) which it is; he says that of the neighbour next door. He then looks over (_Inspectat_) it. Afterwards he is vexed that he has been laughed at; still by (_Ab_) the companion of his son he is _finally_ appeased. ACT I.--SCENE I. _Enter, from the house of_ THEUROPIDES, GRUMIO, _pushing out_ TRANIO. GRU. Get out of the kitchen, will you; out of it, _you_ whip-scoundrel, who are giving me your cavilling talk amid the platters; march out of the house, you ruin of your master. Upon my faith, if I _only_ live, I'll be soundly revenged upon you in the country. Get out, I say, you steam of the kitchen. Why are you skulking _thus_? TRA. Why the plague are you making _this_ noise here before the house? Do you fancy yourself to be in the country[1]? Get out of the house; be off into the country. Go and hang yourself. Get away from the door. (_Striking him_.) There now, was it that you wanted? GRU. (_running away_). I'm undone! Why are you beating me? TRA. Because you want it. GRU. I must endure it. Only let the old gentleman return _home_; only let him come safe _home_, whom you are devouring in his absence. TRA. You don't say what's either likely or true, you blockhead, as to any one devouring a person in his absence.