Germans -- Travel -- England -- Kent -- Fiction; Humorous stories
I confess I thought they might have waited with breakfast till I came.
It is possible that Frau von Eckthum was thinking so too; but as far as
the others were concerned I was dealing, I remembered, with members of
the most inconsiderate nation in Europe. And besides, I reflected, it
was useless to look for the courtesy we in Germany delight to pay to
rank and standing among people who had neither of these things
themselves. For what was Menzies-Legh? A man with much money (which is
vulgar) and no title at all. Neither in the army, nor in the navy, nor
in the diplomatic service, not even the younger son of a titled family,
which in England, as perhaps my hearers have heard with surprise, is a
circumstance sometimes sufficient to tear the title a man would have had
in any other country from him and send him forth a naked Mr. into the
world--Menzies-Legh, I suppose, after the fashion of our friend the
fabled fox in a similar situation, saw no dignity in, nor any reason why
he should be polite to, noble foreign grapes. And his wife’s original
good German blood had become so thoroughly undermined by the action of
British microbes that I could no longer regard her as a daughter of one
of our oldest families; while as for the two young men, on asking
Menzies-Legh the previous evening over that damp and dreary supper of
insufficient eggs who they were, being forced to do so by his not
having as a German gentleman would have done given me every information
at the earliest opportunity of his own accord, with details as to
income, connections, etc., so that I would know the exact shade of
cordiality my behaviour toward them was to be tinged with--on asking
Menzies-Legh, I repeat, he merely told me that the one with the
spectacles and the hollow cheeks and the bull terrier was Browne, who
was going into the Church, and the other with the Pomeranian and the
round, hairless face was Jellaby.
Concerning Jellaby he said no more. Who and what he was except pure
Jellaby I would have been left to find out by degrees as best I could if
I had not pressed him further, and inquired whether Jellaby also were
going into the Church, and if not what was he going into?
Menzies-Legh replied--not with the lively and detailed interest a German
gentleman would have displayed talking about the personal affairs of a
friend, but with an appearance of being bored that very extraordinarily
came over him whenever I endeavoured to talk to him on topics of real
interest, and disappeared whenever he was either doing dull things such
as marching, or cleaning his caravan, or discussing tiresome
trivialities with the others such as some foolish poem lately appeared,
or the best kind of kitchen ranges to put into the cottages he was
building for old women on his estates--that Jellaby was not going into
anything, being in already; and that what he was in was the House of
Commons, where he was not only a member of the Labour Party but also a
Socialist.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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