He would force himself, between twice ascertaining their position, to
wait for a period that felt like an eternity, walking about miserably,
and smoking flavourless cigarettes;--then he would stand amazed,
incredulous, when, with a smirk (as it almost struck him) of ironical
complacence, they would attest that his eternity had lasted something
near a quarter of an hour.
“And I had professed myself a Kantian, and made light of the objective
reality of Time! thou laggard, Time!” he cried, and shook his fist at
Space, Time's unoffending consort.
“I believe it will never be four o'clock again,” he said, in despair,
finally; and once more had out his watch. It was half-past three. He
scowled at the instrument's bland white face. “You have no bowels, no
sensibilities--nothing but dry little methodical jog-trot wheels and
pivots!” he exclaimed, flying to insult for relief. “You're as inhuman
as a French functionary. Do you call yourself a sympathetic comrade
for an impatient man?” He laid it open on his rustic table, and waited
through a last eternity. At a quarter to four he crossed the river. “If
I am early--tant pis!” he decided, choosing the lesser of two evils, and
challenging Fate.
He crossed the river, and stood for the first time in the grounds of
Ventirose--stood where she had been in the habit of standing, during
their water-side colloquies. He glanced back at his house and garden,
envisaging them for the first time, as it were, from her point of
view. They had a queer air of belonging to an era that had passed, to
a yesterday already remote. They looked, somehow, curiously small,
moreover--the garden circumscribed, the two-storied house, with its
striped sunblinds, poor and petty. He turned his back upon them--left
them behind. He would have to come home to them later in the day, to be
sure; but then everything would be different. A chapter would have added
itself to the history of the world; a great event, a great step forward,
would have definitely taken place. He would have been received
at Ventirose as a friend. He would be no longer a mere nodding
acquaintance, owing even that meagre relationship to the haphazard
of propinquity. The ice-broken, if you will, but still present in
abundance--would have been gently thawed away. One era had passed; but
then a new era would have begun.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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