And looking down on the unthinking city, the Cathedral kept watch alone,
beseeching pardon for the inappetency for suffering, for the inertia of
faith that her sons displayed, uplifting her towers to the sky like two
arms, while the spires mimicked the shape of joined hands, the ten
fingers all meeting and upright one against another, in the position
which the image-makers of old gave to the dead saints and warriors they
carved upon tombs.
CHAPTER II.
Durtal had already been living at Chartres for three months.
On his return to Paris from La Trappe he had fallen into a fearful state
of spiritual anemia. His soul kept its room, rarely rose, lounged on a
couch, was torpid with the tepid langour still lulled by the sleepy
mutter of mere lip-service, and prayers reeled off as by a worn-out
machine of which the spring releases itself, so that it works all alone
with no result, and without a touch to start it.
Sometimes, however, in a rebellious mood he managed to check himself, to
stop the ill-regulated clockwork of his prayers, and then he would try
to examine himself, to get above himself, and to see in a comprehensive
glance the puzzling perspective of his nature.
And facing these chambers of the soul, dim with mist, he was struck by a
strange association of the Revelations of Saint Theresa and a tale by
Edgar Poe.
Those chambers of the inner man were empty and cold, and like the halls
of the House of Usher, surrounded by a moat whence the fog rose, forcing
its way in at last and cracking the worn shell of wall. Alone and
uneasy, he prowled about the ruined cells, with closed doors that
refused ever to open again; thus his walks about his own mind were very
limited, and the panorama he could see was strangely narrowed, shrunk
close and near to him, almost nothing. And he knew full well that the
ruins surrounding the central cell, the Master's Room, were bolted and
fastened with rivets that could not be unscrewed, and triple
bars--inaccessible. So he restricted himself to wandering in the halls
and passages.
At Notre Dame de l'Atre he had ventured further; he had gone into the
enclosure round about the abode of Christ; he had seen in the distance
the frontiers of Mysticism, and, too weak to go on his road, he had
fallen; and now this was to be lamented, for, as Saint Theresa truly
remarks, "in the spiritual life, if we do not go forward, we go back."
He had, in fact, retraced his steps, and lay half paralyzed, no longer
even in the vestibule of his mansion, but in the outer court.
Till this time the phenomena described by the matchless Abbess had been
exactly repeated. In Durtal, the Chambers of the Soul were deserted as
after a long mourning; but in the rooms that had remained open, phantoms
of sins confessed, of buried evil-doing, wandered like the sister of the
tormented Usher.
Durtal, like Edgar Poe's unhappy sufferer, listened with horror to the
rustle of steps on the stairs, the piteous weeping behind the doors.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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