The Catholic World, Vol. 13, April to September, 1871Various
Religion
The Catholic World, Vol. 13, April to September, 1871
Various
Catholic Church -- Periodicals
It is as true of the finest and loftiest natures, as of the
perverted, that they cannot always conquer the evil one by spiritual
means alone. Only spirits can do that. And often the tempter must
laugh to see the physical needs, which were made to play about our
feet like children, unnoticed when the soul speaks, starved till they
become demons whose clamorous voices drown the spirit's fainting
cries.
But this man's demon was indulgence, and not denial. He was not
hovering on the brink of ruin, he was at the bottom, and striving
to rise, and he could not endure that any eye should look upon his
struggles.
"D-- you! will you go to bed?" he cried out fiercely.
Edith started back, and, without another word, climbed the narrow
stair to her attic. Before closing the trap-door, she looked down
once, and saw Mr. Rowan tearing and twisting the cards he had been
playing with.
He stayed there the whole night, fighting desperately with such
weapons as he had--a will broken at the hilt, the memory of his son,
and the thought of that dear little girl's tender but ineffectual
pity. As for God, he no longer named him, save in imprecation. The
faith of his orphaned childhood had gone long ago. The glare of the
world had scorched it up before it had fairly taken root. That there
might be help and comfort in the church of his fathers never entered
his mind. "Drink! drink!" that was his sole thought. "If I only had
some opium!" he muttered, "or a cup of strong black coffee! I wonder
if I could get either of 'em anywhere?"
The day was faintly dawning when he staggered to the window, tore
down the paper curtain, and looked out for some sign of life. At the
wharf opposite lay a vessel that had come up the evening before, and
he knew by the smoke that the cook was getting breakfast there.
"I'll go over and see if I can get some coffee or opium," he
muttered, and pulled his hat on as he went out the door.
"I'll ask for nothing but coffee or opium," he protested to himself,
as he shut the door softly after him.
Alas! alas!
CHAPTER II.
WIPING OUT, AND BEGINNING ANEW.
The next morning was a gloomy one for the two who had nursed that
trembling hope overnight, but they did not say much about it.
Mrs. Rowan's face showed the lassitude of long endurance. Edith's
disappointment was poignant. She was no longer a looker-on merely,
but an actor. The man had confided in her, had tacitly asked her
sympathy, and his failure gave her a pang. She cast about in her
thoughts what she should do, having a mind to put her own young
shoulder to the wheel. Should she go in search of him, and give him
one of those scoldings which he had acknowledged his need of? Should
she lead him home, and protect him from abuse?
"Hadn't I better go up to the post-office?" she asked, after
breakfast. "I haven't been there this good while, and there might be
a letter from Dick."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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