The Caxtons: A Family Picture — Volume 05 — John Shaqi
The Caxtons: A Family Picture — Volume 05Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
The Caxtons: A Family Picture — Volume 05
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
English fiction -- 19th century; Families -- Fiction
My uncle had recourse to his snuff-box; and at that moment--
unfortunately, perhaps, for the laurels that might otherwise have
wreathed the brows of Pisistratus of England--private conversation was
stopped by the sudden and noisy entrance of Uncle Jack. No apparition
could have been more unexpected.
"Here I am, my dear friends. How d'ye do; how are you all? Captain de
Caxton, yours heartily. Yes, I am released, thank Heaven! I have given
up the drudgery of that pitiful provincial paper. I was not made for
it. An ocean in a tea cup! I was indeed! Little, sordid, narrow
interests; and I, whose heart embraces all humanity,--you might as well
turn a circle into an isolated triangle."
"Isosceles!" said my father, sighing as he pushed aside his notes, and
very slowly becoming aware of the eloquence that destroyed all chance of
further progress that night in the Great Book. "'Isosceles' triangle,
Jack Tibbets, not 'isolated."'
"'Isosceles' or 'isolated,' it is all one," said Uncle Jack, as he
rapidly performed three evolutions, by no means consistent with his
favorite theory of "the greatest happiness of the greatest number,"--
first, he emptied into the cup which he took from my mother's hands half
the thrifty contents of a London cream-jug; secondly, he reduced the
circle of a muffin, by the abstraction of three triangles, to as nearly
an isosceles as possible; and thirdly, striding towards the fire,
lighted in consideration of Captain de Caxton, and hooking his coat-
tails under his arms while he sipped his tea, he permitted another
circle peculiar to humanity wholly to eclipse the luminary it
approached.
"'Isolated' or 'isosceles,' it is all the same thing. Alan is
made for his fellow-creatures. I had long been disgusted with the
interference of those selfish Squirearchs. Your departure decided me.
I have concluded negotiations with a London firm of spirit and capital
and extended views of philanthropy. On Saturday last I retired from the
service of the oligarchy.
"I am now in my true capacity of protector of the million. My prospectus
is printed,--here it is in my pocket. Another cup of tea, sister; a
little more cream, and another muffin. Shall I ring?" Having
disembarrassed himself of his cup and saucer, Uncle Jack then drew forth
from his pocket a damp sheet of printed paper. In large capitals stood
out "The Anti-Monopoly Gazette; or Popular Champion." He waved it
triumphantly before my father's eyes.
"Pisistratus," said my father, "look here. This is the way your Uncle
Jack now prints his pats of butter,--a cap of liberty growing out of an
open book! Good, Jack! good! good!"
"It is Jacobinical!" exclaimed the Captain.
"Very likely," said my father; "but knowledge and freedom are the best
devices in the world to print upon pats of butter intended for the
market."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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