As an endeavor to unite Mohair and Asquith the cotillon had proved a
dismal failure. They were as the clay and the brass. The next morning
Asquith was split into factions and rent by civil strife, and the porch
of the inn was covered by little knots of women, all trying to talk at
once; their faces told an ominous tale. Not a man was to be seen. The
Minneapolis, St. Paul, and Chicago papers, all of which had previously
contained elaborate illustrated accounts of Mr. Cooke's palatial park
and residence, came out that morning bristling with headlines about
the ball, incidentally holding up the residents of a quiet and retiring
little community in a light that scandalized them beyond measure. And
Mr. Charles Wrexell Allen, treasurer of the widely known Miles Standish
Bicycle Company, was said to have led the cotillon in a manner that left
nothing to be desired.
So it was this gentleman whom the Celebrity was personating! A queer
whim indeed.
After that, I doubt if the court of Charles the Second was regarded
by the Puritans with a greater abhorrence than was Mohair by the
good ladies of Asquith. Mr. Cooke and his ten friends were branded as
profligates whose very scarlet coats bore witness that they were of the
devil. Mr. Cooke himself, who particularly savored of brimstone, would
much better have remained behind the arras, for he was denounced with
such energy and bitterness that those who might have attempted his
defence were silent, and their very silence told against them. Mr. Cooke
had indeed outdone himself in hospitality. He had posted punch-bowls in
every available corner, and so industriously did he devote himself to
the duties of host, as he conceived them, that as many as four of the
patriarchs of Asquith and pillars of the church had returned home more
or less insensible, while others were quite incoherent. The odds being
overwhelming, the master of Mohair had at length fallen a victim to his
own good cheer. He took post with Judge Short at the foot of the
stair, where, in spite of the protests of the Celebrity and of other
well-disposed persons, the two favored the parting guests with an
occasional impromptu song and waved genial good-byes to the ladies. And,
when Mrs. Short attempted to walk by with her head in the air, as though
the judge were in an adjoining county, he so far forgot his judicial
dignity as to chuck her under the chin, an act which was applauded with
much boyish delight by Mr. Cooke, and a remark which it is just as well
not to repeat. The judge desired to spend the night at Mohair, but was
afterwards taken home by main force, and the next day his meals were
brought up to him. It is small wonder that Mrs. Short was looked upon as
the head of the outraged party. The Ten were only spoken of in whispers.
Three of them had been unable to come to time when the last figure was
called, whereupon their partners were whisked off the scene without
so much as being allowed to pay their respects to the hostess. Besides
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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