The Celestial Omnibus, and Other StoriesForster, E. M. (Edward Morgan)
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The Celestial Omnibus, and Other Stories
Forster, E. M. (Edward Morgan)
English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
As we approached the copse she said, "Mr. Inskip, sing, and we'll sing
after you: Áh yoù silly àss góds lìve in woóds." I cleared my throat and
gave out the abominable phrase, and we all chanted it as if it were a
litany. There was something attractive about Miss Beaumont. I was not
surprised that Harcourt had picked her out of "Ireland" and had brought
her home, without money, without connections, almost without
antecedents, to be his bride. It was daring of him, but he knew himself
to be a daring fellow. She brought him nothing; but that he could
afford, he had so vast a surplus of spiritual and commercial goods. "In
time," I heard him tell his mother, "in time Evelyn will repay me a
thousandfold." Meanwhile there was something attractive about her. If it
were my place to like people, I could have liked her very much.
"Stop singing!" she cried. We had entered the wood. "Welcome, all of
you." We bowed. Ford, who had not been laughing, bowed down to the
ground. "And now be seated. Mrs. Worters--will you sit there--against
that tree with a green trunk? It will show up your beautiful dress."
"Very well, dear, I will," said Mrs. Worters.
"Anna--there. Mr. Inskip next to her. Then Ruth and Mrs. Osgood. Oh,
Harcourt--do sit a little forward, so that you'll hide the house. I
don't want to see the house at all."
"I won't!" laughed her lover, "I want my back against a tree, too."
"Miss Beaumont," asked Ford, "where shall I sit?" He was standing at
attention, like a soldier.
"Oh, look at all these Worters!" she cried, "and one little Ford in the
middle of them!" For she was at that state of civilization which
appreciates a pun.
"Shall I stand, Miss Beaumont? Shall I hide the house from you if I
stand?"
"Sit down, Jack, you baby!" cried his guardian, breaking in with
needless asperity. "Sit down!"
"He may just as well stand if he will," said she. "Just pull back your
soft hat, Mr. Ford. Like a halo. Now you hide even the smoke from the
chimneys. And it makes you look beautiful."
"Evelyn! Evelyn! You are too hard on the boy. You'll tire him. He's one
of those bookworms. He's not strong. Let him sit down."
"Aren't you strong?" she asked.
"I am strong!" he cried. It is quite true. Ford has no right to be
strong, but he is. He never did his dumb-bells or played in his school
fifteen. But the muscles came. He thinks they came while he was reading
Pindar.
"Then you may just as well stand, if you will."
"Evelyn! Evelyn! childish, selfish maiden! If poor Jack gets tired I
will take his place. Why don't you want to see the house? Eh?"
Mrs. Worters and the Miss Worters moved uneasily. They saw that their
Harcourt was not quite pleased. Theirs not to question why. It was for
Evelyn to remove his displeasure, and they glanced at her.
"Well, why don't you want to see your future home? I must say--though I
practically planned the house myself--that it looks very well from here.
I like the gables. Miss! Answer me!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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