I watched him hurrying away and almost fall into the arms of two dapper
young men who were waiting for him. They had recognized him as I did and
their object and interview. The old gentleman smiled genially upon them,
but his amazement was comical when they addressed him—he looked politely
embarrassed as though regretting he was not the party they were looking
for, then shrugged his graceful old shoulders and quietly departed; and
the two young men stared at each other, astounded that it was possible
they had been trapped into a case of mistaken identity. I was glad we
met, however, for he made an otherwise dull voyage extremely
interesting.
It was a cold, misty morning when the pompous custom-house officials
boarded the steamer. The fussy health officers were working themselves
into a fret because some one in the steerage had a cold, and the decks
were crowded with passengers, eager, expectant, prepared for departure.
Unconcernedly I scanned the dim outlines of the great city I called
home, and experienced not the slightest tremolo of excitement, though I
had been absent twelve years. What welcome had I to expect? Who cared
when I came or went? Affection was not for me, and I grew heavy with
longing, when, for the first time, I realized how much alone I was in
this world. I would never be conscious of anything above the familiar,
calculating coldness, sordid cordiality that was continually shown to me
and, reflecting bitterly, I knew precisely what awaited me when the
steamer docked. Albert would be there with the carriage and his
perpetual grin. My wealth prevented me even enjoying the little
annoyances fortunate others were subjected to. They could appreciate
comfort. I was uncomfortable always. At my residence there would be no
excitement, all in readiness as though I had never been absent. Later,
if not fatigued I would saunter to the club, there to meet men who, like
myself, had no place else to go. They would all hasten to reach my hand
and give it the hearty shake men always give to each other whether they
like you or not, and all would simultaneously exclaim: “Glad to see you
back, old man! Remain long? What’ll you have?”
I almost yelled with repugnance. Though usually I permitted gloom to
entirely envelop me, there was an undercurrent of consolation that few,
very few experience—I was able to gratify all whims and execute all
resolves, and generally when I reached this conclusion obnoxious
meditations evaporated.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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