The Century Illustrated Monthly Magazine (May 1913): Vol. LXXXVI. New Series: Vol. LXIV. May to October, 1913 — John Shaqi
The Century Illustrated Monthly Magazine (May 1913): Vol. LXXXVI. New Series: Vol. LXIV. May to October, 1913Various
History
The Century Illustrated Monthly Magazine (May 1913): Vol. LXXXVI. New Series: Vol. LXIV. May to October, 1913
Various
Periodicals
“I suppose I’m getting old,” he said; “that’s the reason. The books are
as good as ever they were--the old ones, at any rate. Only they don’t
interest me any more. It’s because I don’t believe in them as I did. I
see through them all. I begin taking them to pieces as soon as I begin
to read, and of course romance and glamour won’t stand dissection. Yes,
it’s because I’m getting old; that’s it. Those things go with youth.
Why, I remember when I would give up a dinner for a new book, when
a fresh magazine gave me a positive thrill. I lost that somewhere,
somehow; I wonder why. It is a ghastly loss. If I had to live my life
over, I would at least try not to destroy my faith in books. It seems
to me now just about the one thing worth keeping for old age.”
The book slipped from the hand hanging at his side. The embers broke,
and, falling together, sent up a tongue of renewed flame. Carringford’s
mind was slipping into by-paths.
“If one only might live his life over!” he muttered. “If one might be
young again!”
He was not thinking of books now. A procession of ifs had come filing
out of the past--a sequence of opportunities where, with the privilege
of choice, he had chosen the wrong, the irrevocable thing.
“If one only might try again!” he whispered. “If one only might! Good
God!” Something like a soft footfall on the rug caused him to turn
suddenly. “I beg your pardon,” he said, rising, “I did not hear you. I
was dreaming, I suppose.”
A man stood before him, apparently a stranger.
“I came quietly,” he said. “I did not wish to break in upon your
thought. It interested me, and I felt that I--might be of help.”
Carringford was trying to recall the man’s face,--a studious,
clean-shaven face,--to associate it and the black-garbed, slender
figure with a name. So many frequented his apartment, congenial, idle
fellows who came and went, and brought their friends if they liked,
that Carringford was not surprised to be confronted by one he could not
place. He was about to extend his hand, confessing a lack of memory,
when his visitor spoke again.
“No,” he said in a gentle, composed voice, “you would not know it if
you heard it. I have never been here before. I should not have come now
only that, as I was passing below, I heard you thinking you would like
to be young again--to live your life over, as they say.”
Carringford stared a moment or two at the smooth, clean-cut features
and slender, black figure of his visitor before replying. He was used
to many curious things, and not many things surprised him.
“I beg your pardon,” he repeated, “you mentioned, I believe, that you
heard me thinking as you were passing on the street below?”
The slender man in black bowed.
“Wishing that you might be young again, that you might have another try
at the game of life. I believe that was the exact thought.”
“And, may I ask, is it your habit to hear persons think?”
“When their thoughts interest me, yes, as one might overhear an
interesting conversation.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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