The Century Illustrated Monthly Magazine, October, 1913: Vol. LXXXVI. New Series: Vol. LXIV. May to October, 1913Various
General
The Century Illustrated Monthly Magazine, October, 1913: Vol. LXXXVI. New Series: Vol. LXIV. May to October, 1913
Various
Periodicals
“After all,” she said, “we’re not on a desert island, but on a ship,
with eyes in every corner.”
Alan leaned toward her.
“But if we were, Alix! If we were on a desert island, you and I--”
For a moment Alix looked into his burning eyes. She felt that there was
fire in her own eyes too--a fire she could not altogether control. She
disengaged herself and sprang up. Alan rose slowly and stood beside
her. He did not look at her parted lips and hot cheeks; he had suddenly
become languid.
“That’s it,” he drawled--“eyes in every corner. I wonder how many
morals would stand without other people’s eyes to prop them up?”
Alix left him. She felt baffled, as though she had tried desperately
to get a grip on Alan, and her hand had slipped. She felt that it was
essential to get a grip on him. She had never played the losing side
before, and she was troubled.
Premonition does not come to a woman without cause. Toward the end of
the voyage Alix faced, wide-eyed, the revelation that the stakes of the
game she and Alan had played were body and soul.
“Alan,” she said one night, with drooping head, “I’ve had enough. I
don’t want to play any more. I want to quit.” She lifted tear-filled
eyes to him. The foil of artificiality had been knocked from her hand.
She was all woman, and defenseless.
Alan felt a trembling in all his limbs.
“I want to quit, too, Alix,” he said in his low, vibrating voice, “but
I’m afraid we can’t. You see, I’m beaten, too. While I was just in love
with your body, we were safe enough; but now I’m in love with you. It’s
the kind of love a man can pray for in vain. No head in it; nothing but
heart. Honor and dishonor become mere names. Nothing matters to me but
you.”
[Illustration: Drawn By Reginald Birch
“’HE’D SAIL FOR AFRICA TO-MORROW AND THINK FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE OF
HIS ESCAPE FROM YOU AS A CLOSE SHAVE’”]
Tears crawled slowly down Alix’s cheeks. She stood with her elbows
on the rail and faced the ocean, so no one might see. Her hands were
locked. In her mind her own thoughts were running. Somehow she could
understand Alan without listening. If only Gerry had done this thing to
her, she was thinking, the pitiless, wracking misery would have been
joy at white heat. She was unmasked at last; but Gerry had not unmasked
her. Not once since the day of the wreck and their engagement had Gerry
unmasked himself.
Alan was standing with his side to the rail, his eyes leaving her face
only to keep track of the promenaders, so that no officious friend
could take her by surprise. He went on talking.
“Our judgment is calling to us to quit, but it is calling from days
ago,” he said. “We wouldn’t listen then, and it’s only the echo we
hear now. We can try to quit if you like; but when I am alone, I shall
call for you, and when you are alone, you will call for me. We shall
always be alone except when we are near each other. We can’t break the
tension, Alix. It will break us in the end.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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