The Century Illustrated Monthly Magazine, September, 1913: Vol. LXXXVI, No. 5 — John Shaqi
The Century Illustrated Monthly Magazine, September, 1913: Vol. LXXXVI, No. 5Various
General
The Century Illustrated Monthly Magazine, September, 1913: Vol. LXXXVI, No. 5
Various
Periodicals
Unconsciously the White Linen Nurse’s lax shoulders quickened, and the
sudden upward tilt of her chin was as frankly interrogative as a French
inflection. “Yes, sir,” she said.
“In my own case,” said the Senior Surgeon, bluntly--“in my own case,
Miss Malgregor, it is no more than fair to tell you that I--did not
love my wife. And my wife did not love me.” Only the muscular twitch
in his throat betrayed the torture that the confession cost him. “The
details of that marriage are unnecessary,” he continued with equal
bluntness. “It is enough, perhaps, to say that she was the daughter of
an eminent surgeon with whom I was exceedingly anxious at that time to
be allied, and that our mating, urged along on both sides, as it was,
by strong personal ambitions, was one of those so-called ‘marriages of
convenience’ which almost invariably turn out to be marriages of such
dire inconvenience to the two people most concerned. For one year we
lived together in a chaos of experimental acquaintanceship; for two
years we lived together in increasing uncongeniality and distaste; for
three years we lived together in open and acknowledged enmity; at the
last, I am thankful to remember, we had one year together again that
was at least an--armed truce.”
Darkly the gray shadow and the red flush chased each other once more
across the man’s haggard face.
“I had a theory,” he said, “that possibly a child might bridge the
chasm between us. My wife refuted the theory, but submitted herself
reluctantly to the fact. And when she died in giving birth to--my
theory, the shock, the remorse, the regret, the merciless self-analysis
that I underwent at that time almost convinced me that the whole
miserable failure of our marriage lay entirely on my own shoulders.”
Like the stress of mid-summer, the tears of sweat started suddenly on
his forehead. “But I am a fair man, I hope, even to myself, and the
cooler, less-tortured judgment of the subsequent years has virtually
assured me that for types as diametrically opposed as ours such a thing
as mutual happiness never could have existed.”
Mechanically he bent down and smoothed a tickly lock of hair away from
the little girl’s eyelids.
“And the child is the living physical image of her,” he stammered--“the
violent hair, the ghost-white skin, the facile mouth, the arrogant
eyes, staring, staring, maddeningly reproachful, persistently accusing.
My own stubborn will, my own hideous temper, all my own ill-favored
mannerisms, mock back at me eternally in her mother’s unloved
features.” As mirthless as the grin of a skull, the Senior Surgeon’s
mouth twisted up a little at one corner. “Maybe I could have borne
it better if she’d been a boy,” he acknowledged grimly; “but to see
all your virile--masculine vices come back at you, so sissified, in
_skirts_!”
“Yes, sir,” said the White Linen Nurse.
With an unmistakable gasp of relief, the Senior Surgeon expanded his
great chest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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