Freedom is no danger to fidelity. The kind of fidelity required by the
church and by the law has certainly been a notable means of education.
But the method, as it is, is opposed to the end. For it has produced the
feeling of possession. This has led to loss of respect in the worship of
love. The requirements based on force have awakened hostility in soul
and sense; the fear of public opinion has produced all sorts of
dishonesty between man and wife, between them and the world. When the
bonds of compulsion fall away feeling will be strengthened. For when the
external supports of fidelity are wanting, the power required for it
will come from the inner life. Although human beings will be exposed
always to the possibility of serious mistakes about themselves and the
object of their love; although time can always change human beings and
their emotions; although, even in a marriage which has resulted from
mutual love, conditions can arise which make Nietzsche's ideal
legitimate, that it is better to break up the marriage than to be broken
up by it; yet on the whole freedom will encourage fidelity, which itself
will always have a support through the experience of its psychological
and ethical value.
It is not through a series of lightly entered into and lightly dissolved
connections that one is prepared for the happiness of great love.
Voluntary fidelity is a sign of nobility, because it assumes the will to
concentrate about the centre of life's meaning; because it signifies the
unity with our own proper innermost ego. This is as true of fidelity in
love as of all other kinds of fidelity. Only when love is the practical
religion of the work-day, and the devotion of the holiday, when it is
kept under the constant supervision of the soul, when it brings with it
a constant growth, (why should not the fine old word "sanctification" be
used) of personality, is love great. Then it comes into possession of a
higher right than some earlier union, because it then means really
fidelity and nothing else towards our own highest ego. But where it does
not have this character, it does not possess this right. It is then a
petty emotion even when it is made pardonable by great passion. The
children which issue from temporary unions are often as imperfect as
their origin. Great love is, as a young doctor once said, only that
which grips so deeply, that after its loss one no longer feels as a
whole, but as a half of a whole. Yet nature has protected itself against
annihilation by giving the possibility of love more than once. But what
nature's ideal is cannot be doubted. The race which would come into
existence, provided young men and women were given the possibility of
uniting when the first love took possession of them,--that love which is
the deepest,--this race would be sound and strong, different from what
our own race is now. But when young people love now they seldom have the
means for union, and when they have the means, then that which leads
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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