Clergy -- England -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Families -- England -- Fiction
The issues for each had deepened. The meaning of that exclamation was
understood by him: it pleaded with him for Martin.
“I have always tried to be a good father to you both,” he said.
Then all that Helen had suppressed and striven not to have thought for
years rose to the surface on this her first day of liberty. She had not
let herself know how heavy the yoke had been till now, when her
manumission was signed. But Martin still was in subjection. She stood
up.
“I know that,” she said. “If I had not always known that I should not
have cared. It is just that which makes it so sad. But we have both been
afraid of you. We have concealed things from you because we were afraid
of your displeasure. You know, Martin is awfully timid; he shrinks from
what hurts. And we do not tell you everything even now.”
The thrill of pleasure that her unasked confidence had given him had
pretty well died out. He felt also that there was something more coming.
“You or Martin?” he asked.
The tide was irresistible, sweeping her away. A thing which must be
horribly painful to him had to be told her father to-day, to-morrow, or
some time, and she suddenly knew that she must tell him now. Besides,
here was a burden she could voluntarily bear for her lover, a pain, a
difficult thing she could take on herself. And, woman all through, as
she would have saved him anything from a toothache to a heartache,
especially if the saving it from him meant the transference of it to
her, she felt, in spite of the pain, an inward thrill and warmth at the
thought that it would be spared to Frank. A few minutes before, when
Aunt Clara left the room, she would have gone too, if she had known that
the little confession would lead on to this, but now the burning of her
love, as when a furnace-door is thrown open, glowed with a whiteness
that consumed all else.
“I, anyhow,” she said. “I have something which you must be told. And I
choose to tell you instead of Frank.”
Her father got up also facing her. He was very grave, very still.
“Does it concern him?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Is it disgraceful?”
“No.”
He made one futile attempt to stop in the middle of the rapids into
which he or she, he did not know which, had steered.
“Then, tell me nothing, Helen,” he said. “You say it is not disgraceful.
That is quite sufficient for me when it comes from your mouth. I do not
wish to be told either by him or you. There is no past that can be raked
up--ah, I need not have asked you that. You would have turned from him
with loathing if there had been that. For the rest I am satisfied. He
has artistic tastes of which I have no knowledge, and with which no
sympathy. He is honourable and of a great name, he is liked, respected;
he is a man whom I would have chosen myself for you, and he has the
interests and welfare of the church close to his heart----“
He stopped suddenly, arrested by the sudden whiteness of her face.
“Or what?” he asked.
“He is not even a Christian,” said Helen, simply.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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