"’I am glad to see,’ I began, ’that you have got over your difficulty so
easily. You know I told you at the time that you under-rated your
power, and exaggerated your feeling. Certainly there has been no sign
lately of a repetition of your fault. In fact I am inclined to think
that you are even rather tired of my company.’
"’You are mistaken,’ he answered; ’there is one way, and one way only
which I dare take. If I were to go ever so little beyond it I might go
too far and again offend you. It is possible to be friendly with those
we care little for, and to be cold to those we love; but to be intimate
without showing our true feeling with one we care for above all others
is, I believe, impossible. The strain would be too great. Some time or
other the line would be crossed, the veil torn aside.’
"’But,’ I asked, ’don’t you think you are making a good deal out of a
little? Suppose you do like me, would it not be better to accept the
position and have done with it? Face facts bravely. I do not love you,
and in any case cannot marry you; but there is no reason why we should
not be good friends. What more can you want? It’s no good being cross
because you cannot have the impossible. You are worse than the
love-sick maiden who fell in love with the man in the moon, for she was
content to look at her idol, and you are not even satisfied with being
able to talk to and see yours, but must needs sulk.’
"’You must know that it is not that,’ he said. ’I am not cross, but I
am afraid of myself. You cannot know how ashamed I felt after that day
in the Castle, and as you were so forgiving and allowed me to see you
again, it is doubly necessary for me to be on my guard.’
"’Well, you have been very good since,’ I said, ’and as it is evident
that you are to be trusted, for the future you may be a little more
natural, and not quite so stiff and proper. You may be quite certain
that I shall not for a moment allow you to go too far. But I cannot see
why a man and a girl cannot be friends without the ridiculous idea they
are bound to fall in love. I really believe it was nothing else than
this on your part, and you must make up your mind to get over it. To
help you to do this I am going to be quite open and frank with you. I
shall treat you as a companion whom I like, and you can forget I am a
girl, and treat me in the same way.’
"’I will try,’ he said, ’but am rather doubtful of success. If you were
not so pretty it would be easier.’
"’Pretty--Oh! rubbish!’ I replied; ’whatever has that, even if it were
true, got to do with the matter? You can make up your mind if you like,
with the help of that powerful imagination of yours, that I am as ugly
as sin. Don’t you think you can?’
"I looked full in his face; for a moment his eyes met mine, then he
turned away as I rattled on--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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