"’Oh! only that I was too young to know my own mind, and that he wanted
me to promise that I would not speak or write to you for a week. What
nonsense! Too young to know my own mind, and I shall be eighteen next
June!’
"After which remarks these thoughts followed; and as I was busy
listening to them I remained silent.
"’_I wonder why father wished me not to say anything. Can it be to do
with...? But I like Alan much better, and ... is not likely to make
love to me, and of course I should not let him if he tried. Yet perhaps
he may. I have a good mind to see if I can make him just for the fun of
it, and when he does of course I will tell him I am engaged. It’s
rather nice to have people make love to one. That’s the worst of being
married, you can’t have proposals afterwards, so it is only fair to get
as many as you can before. Besides, then I could say that I might have
been Lady ... if I had chosen._’
"Thought is quicker than speech, and probably the pause was hardly more
than thirty seconds before she continued aloud--
"’Why are you not shooting to-day?’
"’I wanted to think about you,’ I answered, ’and so went for a walk
instead, and was lucky. But I met some one else on the moor, an
acquaintance of mine, who, I find, is staying with you.’
"’Oh! Lord Vancome! So you know him. Where did you meet him?’ Then
silently, ’_I wonder if he came out so as to walk back with me?_’
"’I met him wandering about, taking a prospective view of your father’s
shooting,’ I answered vaguely. ’But tell me what you think of him?’
"’Oh! he seems very nice and interesting, but I feel somehow frightened
of him.’ Then, dropping her voice slightly--’Is he rather wicked?’
"’What makes you think so?’ I asked, relieved to find that her woman’s
instinct was not at fault.
"’I do not know; I suppose it’s the way he looks at one, or something.’
Then her thought continued--’_Men are so foolish; they seem to fancy
girls are perfect fools and don’t know anything!_’
"I felt it was not fair to follow these reflections further. One gets
hardened in time to seeing people’s minds, as it were, naked, but at
first some revelations tend to lower our views of human nature. It is
not until we realize that our own unclothed sentiments would have a
similar disenchanting effect upon others that we grow more charitable.
If you wish fully to understand my meaning, try next time you are in
mixed society to fancy that not only your words, but also your thoughts
are audible to those around, and see if under such circumstances you
would care to meet any of those people again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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