"’Poor little child!’ I thought. ’God alone can see all the nightmare
of misery your nature must pass through before it comes forth in the
light of His pure love!’ Then a voice seemed to whisper in my ear,
’Think of your own life. If you take up this burden you will be dragged
into the darkness; your nature will be lowered, your power for good
destroyed.’ Then again I looked at the girl, and as I did so my spirit
cried and said, ’Even though I should be damned to walk for ever in
darkness, though God’s light be hidden from me, yet will I never cut
this bond till we stand together before the face of our Father.’ And it
seemed to me that there were many voices chanting softly, ’Amen.’
"Whilst listening to the sound an overpowering gloom settled upon me. I
remembered nothing more distinctly, though through the darkness many
indistinct pictures flashed before me and vanished ere they were printed
on my mind. At last I heard voices speaking, and opening my eyes, saw
Vera and Vancome bending over me. As far as I know, this was the first
time that I had fallen into a trance, or as doctors would call it, a
state of catalepsy.
"It appears that Vera, finding me insensible, had rushed out of the
glen, and seeing Vancome in the distance, had called to him for
assistance. They both appeared to think that I had fainted, and I did
not wish to undeceive them.
"But it is getting late, and as I have now reached the point in my story
which makes it necessary to explain an important discovery to which I
was led by this trance condition, it will be better to stop for this
evening."
"But," I interrupted, "before I go you will show me the other rooms you
spoke of."
"Not to-night," he replied, "for there are many things in them which
still require explanations for which at present you are hardly prepared.
But the next time we meet I hope to take you into one of them. When I
began this evening, I had no intention of going so fully into the
details of my story, but noticing that the method unconsciously adopted
did not weary you, it seemed better to give my experiences in the order
in which they occurred. This plan has led, and will probably still lead,
me to describe many so-called trivial reminiscences; but as a matter of
fact, nothing is trivial, and by striving to confine ourselves to more
important subjects, we often miss the tiny thread which might, if
followed, have led to some great discovery. When, however, I continue
my story, I hope to make it more interesting by illustrations."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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