He placed the ring before her on the table.
'There is the ruby.'
'Take it.'
'Do you mean that?'
'I do. If it is of the slightest use to you, by all means take it.'
'You give it to me--freely?'
'Oh, yes, so freely! Only--I wish you'd go.'
Thrusting the ruby into his waistcoat pocket, he went, without another
word. Without it seemed darker even than before. He stumbled, blindly,
down the stairs. Presently the darkness lightened; a gleam descended
from above. Glancing up he perceived that Miss Bewicke was leaning
over the railing with a lighted candle in her hand. He said nothing;
attempted no word of thanks. So far as he knew she, too, was still;
but as he descended, assisted by the light she held, he felt as he was
convinced the whipped cur must feel, which sneaks off with its tail
between its legs. The candle was still showing a faint glimmer of
light as he passed into the street. He applied a dozen injurious
epithets to himself as he thought that he had not even acknowledged
the courtesy he had received. But for the life of him he could not, at
that moment, have uttered a word of thanks.
Now that he was out in the street he raged. In his first mad impulse
he would have taken what Miss Bewicke had called his 'booty' from his
pocket and hurled it from him through the night. Prudence, however,
prevailed. He told himself, again and again, that he was an ineffable
thing to allow it to remain a second longer in his possession. It
stayed there all the same. He was conscious that nothing could be less
romantic than the whole adventure; nothing more undignified than the
part which he had played in it. He had been throughout a mere
figurehead--a counter manipulated by three women--he who thought that
if he had anything on which to pride himself it was his manhood. His
rage waxed hotter as he strode along; he was angry even with Miss
Broad.
'If it hadn't been for her--' he began. Then stopped, stood still,
struck with his fist at the air--his stick, it seemed, he had left
behind him. 'What a cur I am! I try to put the blame, like some
snivelling sneak of a schoolboy, upon everyone except myself, as
though the fault was not mine, and mine alone. Am I some weak idiot
that I am not responsible for my own actions? that I do a dirty thing,
and then exclaim that someone made me? Well, it's done, and can't be
undone, and I stand, self-confessed, a hound; but, as I live, I'll
return at once and make her take the ruby back again. Then off once
more for Africa. Better to be haunted by my uncle's ghost than by my
own conscience.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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