The Chautauquan, Vol. 03, June 1883Chautauqua Literary and Scientific Circle
History
The Chautauquan, Vol. 03, June 1883
Chautauqua Literary and Scientific Circle
Chautauqua Institution -- Periodicals; Chautauqua Literary and Scientific Circle -- Periodicals
In addition, then, to the ordinary routine of education, make yourself
acquainted with the passing circumstances of the day—its politics, its
parties, its amusements, its foibles, its customs, its literature, and
at the present time I must also say its science. Some of these subjects
may be the parent of much gossip and scandal; still, a man moving in
society as a gentleman, must be ignorant of nothing which relates
thereto, or if he is, he must not appear to be.
Avoid a loud tone, particularly in speaking to ladies. By observing
men of the world, you will perceive that their voices, as it were,
involuntarily assume a softness as they address the sex; this is one of
the most obvious proofs of an intimacy with good society.
Never attempt to occupy the attention of a company for a long time;
unless your conversation is very brilliant it must become very tiresome.
The object of conversation is to entertain and amuse. To be agreeable,
you must learn to be a good listener. A man who monopolizes a
conversation is a bore, no matter how great his knowledge.
Never get into a dispute. State your opinions, but do not argue them.
Do not contradict, and above all, never offend by correcting mistakes
or inaccuracies of fact or expression.
Never lose temper—never notice a slight—never seem conscious of an
affront, unless it is of a gross character, and then punish it at once.
You can never quarrel in presence of ladies, but a personal indignity
may be avenged _anywhere_.
Never talk of people by hints, slurs, innuendoes, and such mean
devices. If you have anything to say, out with it. Nothing charms more
than candor, when united with good breeding.
Do not call people by their names in speaking to them. In speaking of
your own children, never “Master” and “Miss” them—in speaking to other
people of theirs, never neglect to do so.
It is very vulgar to talk in a loud tone, and indulge in horse-laughs.
Be very careful in speaking of subjects upon which you are not
acquainted. Much is to be learned by confessing your ignorance—nothing
can be by pretending to knowledge which you do not possess.
Never tell long stories. Avoid all common slang phrases and pet words.
Of all things, don’t attempt to be too fine. Use good honest
English—and common words for common things. If you speak of breeches,
shirts, or petticoats, call them by their right names. The vulgarity is
in avoiding them.
Be not partial to theorizing, or your conversation will assume the
style of speech-making, which is intolerable.
CHEERFULNESS TAUGHT BY REASON.
By ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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