The Chautauquan, Vol. 05, January 1885, No. 4 — John Shaqi
The Chautauquan, Vol. 05, January 1885, No. 4Chautauqua Literary and Scientific Circle
Religion
The Chautauquan, Vol. 05, January 1885, No. 4
Chautauqua Literary and Scientific Circle
Chautauqua Institution -- Periodicals; Chautauqua Literary and Scientific Circle -- Periodicals
What then, art thou, O, my God; what, I ask, but the Lord God? For who is
Lord but the Lord? or who is God save our God? Most high, most excellent,
most potent, most omnipotent, most piteous and most just; most hidden
and most near; most beauteous and most strong; stable, yet contained
of none; unchangeable, yet changing all things; never new, never old,
making all things new, yet bringing old age upon the proud, and they
know it not; always working, yet ever at rest; gathering, yet needing
nothing; sustaining, pervading, and protecting; creating, nourishing,
and developing; seeking, and yet possessing all things. Thou lovest, and
burnest not; art jealous, yet free from care; repentest, and hast no
sorrow; art angry, yet serene; changest thy ways, leaving unchanged thy
plans; recoverest what thou findest, having yet never lost; art never
in want, while thou rejoicest in gain; never covetous, though requiring
usury (Matt. xxv:27).… Thou payest debts, while owing nothing; and when
thou forgivest debts, losest nothing. Yet, O my God, my life, my holy
joy, what is this that I have said? And what saith any man when he speaks
of thee? Yet woe to them that keep silence, seeing that even those who
say most are as dumb!
Oh! how shall I find rest in thee? Who will send thee into my heart to
inebriate it, so that I may forget my woes, and embrace thee, my only
good? What art thou to me? Have compassion on me, that I may speak. What
am I to thee, that thou demandest my love, and unless I give it thee art
angry and threatenest me with great sorrows? Is it, then, a light sorrow
not to love thee? Alas! alas! tell me of thy compassion, O Lord my God,
what thou art to me: “Say unto my soul, I am thy salvation.” So speak
that I may hear. Behold Lord, the ears of my heart are before thee; open
thou them, and “say unto my soul, I am thy salvation.” When I hear, may I
run and lay hold on thee. Hide not thy face from me. Let me die, lest I
die, if only I may see thy face.
Cramped is the dwelling of my soul; do thou expand it, that thou mayest
enter in. It is in ruins, restore thou it. There is that about it which
must offend thine eyes; I confess and know it, but who will cleanse
it? or to whom shall I cry but to thee? Cleanse me from my secret
sins, O Lord, and keep thy servant from those of other men. I believe,
and therefore do I speak; Lord, thou knowest. Have I not confessed my
transgressions unto thee, O my God; and thou hast put away the iniquity
of my heart. I do not contend in judgment with thee, who art the truth;
and I would not deceive myself, lest my iniquity lie against itself. I
do not, therefore, contend in judgment with thee, for “if thou, Lord,
shouldst mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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