The Chequers: Being the Natural History of a Public-House, Set Forth in; a Loafer's DiaryRunciman, James
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The Chequers: Being the Natural History of a Public-House, Set Forth in; a Loafer's Diary
Runciman, James
England -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction
We glowered glassily on each other, and we were quite ready either to
quarrel or to shed tears on the faintest provocation. Presently Bob
laughed in a forced way, and said, "God, what a head! Let's come out.
Those yellow shades make me bilious." The glory of full day flooded the
lovely banks, but the light pained our eyes, and we sought refuge in the
cool, dim shades of the parlour. Our conversation was exactly like that
of passengers on board ship when they are just about to collapse. The
minutes seemed like hours; our limbs were listless, as if we had been
beaten into helplessness. So passed one doleful hour. I mentioned
breakfast, and Bob shuddered, while Coney rushed from the room. What a
pleasant thing is a jovial night!
"Let's see if we can manage some champagne," said Darbishire, and the
"merry" three were soon mournfully gazing on a costly magnum. Sip by sip
we contrived to drink a glass each; then the false thirst woke, the
nausea departed, and we were started again for the day.
I persisted in taking violent exercise, but Darbishire seemed to have
lost all his muscular aptitudes, and although I implored him to exert
himself, he sank into a lethargy that was only varied by mad fits,
during which he performed the freaks of a lunatic. After the sixth day's
drinking I proposed to go away. Bob looked queerly at me, and said in a
whisper, "Don't you try it on! See that!" and he showed me a little
Derringer. I laughed; but I was not really amused. You always notice
that, when a man is about to go wrong, he thinks of killing those whom
he likes best. That night Bob's hands flew asunder with a jerk while we
were playing cards; the cards flew about; then he flung a decanter
violently into the fireplace, and sat down trembling and glaring. I
sprang to his side, and found that the sweat was running down his neck.
I pulled off his shoes--his socks were drenched! I said, "I thought
you'd get them, old fellow. Now, have some beef-tea, and I'll send right
away for a sleeping draught." Bob trembled still more.
"No beef-tea. I've had nothing these three days, as you know. It would
kill me to swallow." Then he said, in a horrible whisper, "The brute's
coming down the chimney again. There's a paw! Now his head! Now's a
chance! Yah! you pink devil, that's got you! Three days you've been
coming, and now you're cheeky. Yeo, ho! That's done him." Then he flung
a second decanter, and sank down once more with a shriek.
"I'll have a drink on that!" he screamed; and I let him take a full
glass of spirits, for I wanted to secure the Derringer. The drink
appeared to paralyse him, and I slipped down to the landlord's room. The
worthy man took things very coolly; none of his trade ever like to see a
man drunk, but they become hardened to it in time, and talk about
delirium tremens as if it were measles. Here is the dialogue.
"Bob's queer."
"I thought so. He's had 'em once before. He must be careful, but you
can't stop him."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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