The Chequers: Being the Natural History of a Public-House, Set Forth in; a Loafer's DiaryRunciman, James
General
The Chequers: Being the Natural History of a Public-House, Set Forth in; a Loafer's Diary
Runciman, James
England -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction
The Wanderer often asked me to call, for he knows that I have a stiff
flask in my pocket every night. I have pieced out the rest of his story,
and I shall put it into my book when I am less glum. At present I swear
every day that I shall turn temperance lecturer, and spend my money on
the Cause; but, somehow, habit, and my roving blood, are too much for
me. Like all men of my sort, from Burns downward, I can see evils
clearly, and state their nature plainly enough; but when it comes to
keeping clear of them, I resemble my tribe in being rather unhandy at
judicious strategy. _Vogue la galere!_
Three months more have gone and my journals have never been written up,
save in chance scraps. The Wanderer is quite as interesting as ever! I
took the odds to L2 with him over a race run at Newmarket, and he paid
promptly. He puts out little signs of improvement--sprouts of
gentility--at times: but one heavy spell of gin and Shakespeare takes
him back to the old level again. Still, he is more amusing than the
dandies; in fact, I do not think I shall go amongst the respectable
division again. I make no pretence of immolating myself: I go among the
blackguards and wastrels because I am fascinated; I tell exactly what I
see, and leave other people to make practical use of my words. During
the last three months I have been, as usual, hard hit. It seems as
though any creature that I am fond of must soon be lost to me, and the
pages of my journal are like rows of tombstones.
We were making a great noise in the bar one night, for a cornet and
fiddle were playing, and a few couples were moved by the music and the
beer to begin dancing. A good many women come in at one time or other,
and their shrill laughter forms the treble of our crashing chorus. One
tall, broad-shouldered dame, who boasts of having six sons serving in
the Guards, made a great commotion. Her weight is considerable. She had
been drinking for four hours, and, when she attempted to illustrate her
theory of the waltz, she sent drinkers and drink flying as though her
offspring's battalion had charged. She had disabled one sporting coster
who tried to guide her, and the landlord was preparing for practical
remonstrance, when she sailed down upon me, yawing all the way as though
she were running before a hard breeze. I prepared for the shock, but I
was not destined to receive it. A tiny little lad had just received some
beer in a bottle from the counter, and he was making for home, when the
tall woman plumped upon him. The bottle was broken, the beer ran among
the dirt and sawdust, and the little lad was almost smothered before the
landlord (who impolitely addressed the waltzer as a cow) had managed to
haul the ponderous woman to her feet. The boy was a good deal hurt
physically, but his mental distress at sight of the lost beer prevented
him from noticing his bruises. When he fully grasped the extent of the
calamity he actually became pale, and I do not think I ever saw such a
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account