The Chequers: Being the Natural History of a Public-House, Set Forth in; a Loafer's DiaryRunciman, James
General
The Chequers: Being the Natural History of a Public-House, Set Forth in; a Loafer's Diary
Runciman, James
England -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction
out, and, after a spell of sprightly song, we all indulged in a dance of
the most spirited description. Drink was plentiful, and, as I saw I was
being plied very freely, I pretended to be eager for more. This modified
the strategy of my friends, for they were reasonably anxious to secure a
skinful, and they feared lest my powers might prove to be abnormal. Four
watching like wild beasts! One waiting, and calculating chances! The
sullen, grey-eyed old man had taken on the aspect of a ferret; the fat
woman was like that awful wretch who meets the pale girl in Hogarth's
"Marriage a la Mode;" the bastard gipsy smiled in "leary" fashion, as if
he were coming up for the second round of a fight, and knew that he had
it all own way. I pumped up jokes, and my snub-nosed charmer pretended
to laugh. Ah! what a laugh.
This was the position when Blackey declared that he must go. "Got to
shunt, old man? You squat still, now, and git through that there lotion.
I got to go to market, and we ain't no bloomin' moke. I'm on on my
stand ten o'clock--no later--and that wants doin'. The missus'll fetch
me some corrfee, and, hear you, put a nip o' that booze in. It warms yer
liver up. By-by. Mind you stay, now, and no faint hearts. Mother, up
with your heavy wet, and try suthin' short. I'm off!"
With an ostentatious farewell, the excellent Blackey stumped off, and
the four remaining revellers became staid.
"'Ard times," said the ferret-faced man; "but we've 'ad _one_ good night
out on it anyways."
"How do you make your living, may I ask, if that's a fair question,
mate?" This question was addressed by _me_ to the sly man, and he was
embarrassed.
"Livin'! 'Taint no livin'. It's lingerin'. Leastways it would be if it
wasn't for my gell, Tilley, there. 'Er and 'er 'usban' gives us a 'and;
an' if you've got a bit about you you might 'elp us put our copper to
rights. Got a thick 'un? I'll pay it back, s'elp me Gord, if the missus
can start laundryin' agin'."
I saw that this meant "Show us which pocket you keep your money in," so
I shamelessly said, "I'll put that square in the morning, governor."
Then some silly small-talk--petty as children's babble, low as the
cackle of the bar--went on, and I found myself somehow left alone with
the snub-nosed young person. She was evidently in some trouble, and I
was the more interested about her in that I chanced to look at a side
window, and found the fat, carnivorous woman and the down-looking man
surveying us with interest, under the impression that they were
invisible.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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