Fantasy fiction; Near-death experiences -- Fiction; Religious fiction; Spiritual life -- Fiction
"Well," he said, "I have sometimes wondered myself. I feel that you may
have something to tell me, some message for me. I thought that when I
first saw you; but I cannot quite perceive what is in your mind, and I
see that you do not wholly know what is in mine. I have been here for a
long time, and I have a sense that I do not get on, do not move; and yet
I have lived in extreme joy and contentment, except that I dread to
return to life, as I know I must return. I have lived often, and always
in joy--but in life there are constantly things to endure, little things
which just ruffle the serenity of soul which I desire, and which I may
fairly say I here enjoy. I have loved beauty, and not intemperately; and
there have been other people--men and women--whom I have loved, in a
sense; but the love of them has always seemed a sort of interruption to
the life I desired, something disordered and strained, which hurt me,
and kept me away from the peace I desired--from the fine weighing of
sounds and colours, and the pleasure of beautiful forms and lines; and I
dread to return to life, because one cannot avoid love and sorrow, and
mean troubles, which waste the spirit in vain."
"Yes," I said, "I can understand what you feel very well, because I too
have known what it is to desire to live in peace and beauty, not to be
disturbed or fretted; but the reason, I think, why it is dangerous, is
not because life becomes too _easy_. That is not the danger at all--life
is never easy, whatever it is! But the danger is that it grows too
solemn! One is apt to become like a priest, always celebrating holy
mysteries, always in a vision, with no time for laughter, and disputing,
and quarrelling, and being silly and playing. It is the poor body again
that is amiss. It is like the camel, poor thing; it groans and weeps,
but it goes on. One cannot live wholly in a vision; and life does not
become more simple so, but more complicated, for one's time and energy
are spent in avoiding the sordid and the tiresome things which one
cannot and must not avoid. I remember, in an illness which I had, when I
was depressed and fanciful, a homely old doctor said to me, 'Don't be
too careful of yourself: don't think you can't bear this and that--go
out to dinner--eat and drink rather too much!' It seemed to be coarse
advice, but it was wise."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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