This is what passed in the mind of Natalie’s mistress as she lay
warmly in her bed. She lay looking at the nightlight shadows, but
with this last thought she sat upright, and looked round her. Yes,
she must have been asleep, for the nightlight was burning brightly
and fully, as it does when it has been alight some time; not showing
that melancholy little humpbacked flame with which its vigil
commences. “I wonder what time it is,” thought Clare, “I wish I had
remembered to bring Natalie up to bed with me.”
She lay down again, and tried to go to sleep, but one feels very wide
awake indeed if one keeps thinking of one thing in particular. You
feel even if you buttoned your lids down, they would still flutter
wide.
There is a writer called George Herbert of whom you have heard, and
in one of his poems he says,
I hasted to my bed,
But when I thought to sleep out all these faults
(I sigh to speak)
I found that some had stuffed the bed with thoughts,
I would say thorns,
and rest was impossible. So it was with Clare. She kept seeing
Natalie nose downwards.
“I’ll go and fetch her,” she said, and she was out of bed in a twink.
Quietly she passed through her little room to the door, passing all
the familiar shadows. There was the big one cast by the cupboard,
that looked like a cloaked figure by the door. And there was the
black corner with the sharp shadow jutting out of it, that was really
only the chair-back, for she had moved the chair one night to make
sure. And there lay her little pile of clothes on the chair itself,
but even the sight of these did not make her remember to put on her
slippers, and passing all these things and so through the room, she
opened the door, and went out into the passage.
How light she felt! as if she’d left her body in bed and was going
downstairs in her soul. The stair-rods touched the back of her heel
strangely cold; how soft and deep the carpet was.
The floor round about the big landing window was flooded by
moonlight, and by this Clare moved, but it did not reach very far,
and soon she had to feel along the wall towards the drawing-room.
Then she saw beneath the door a thin streak of light shed on the
carpet, showing the lights had not yet been put out within.
“I wonder if they’ve been forgotten, or if Mummie’s still in there,”
thought Clare, and she turned the handle.
The room was partially lit by one of the lamps, and Clare ran in
to seize Natalie. There she lay, her furry eyelashes sweeping the
faultless contour of a china cheek.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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