did not seem to be a victory of resignation or heroism which he
obtained over himself, but rather a natural faculty of his soul to look
upon his sufferings and deprivations as a possession from which the
greatest gain must be derived, the only innocent speculation, and one
for which he had cultivated a masterly aptitude.
At the time we have made the brothers' acquaintance, they had lived
together in the shoemaker's back building, the so-called "tun," about
five years. Edwin had first gone to Berlin alone, in order to devote
himself exclusively to the study of philosophy and physical science,
for which he had little opportunity in Breslau. He had been unable to
resolve to enter into any money-making business, and his study of law
was a mere pretence. So when he found himself acting in direct
opposition to his benefactor's wishes, he thought it dishonorable to
continue to eat the bread of one with whose opinions he could not
coincide. Balder meantime remained in his old home, but as soon as
Edwin could support both, was to follow him to Berlin.
This was not accomplished as speedily as the latter had at first hoped.
Months elapsed before he could fit himself for a tutor, as the private
lessons he had undertaken robbed him of both time and patience. Then
followed anxieties about his first lectures, which, with great
difficulty, he obtained an opportunity to deliver, and which brought in
nothing. During all this time, his only intercourse with his brother
was by means of frequent letters, until at last he could bear the
separation no longer, and one Whitsuntide went to Breslau, to ask the
beloved youth if he felt strong enough to share his poverty. Balder
flushed to the roots of his hair with joyful agitation at this
question, which fulfilled the most secret wish of his heart. He had
only been withheld from making the proposal long before, by the fear of
becoming a burden to his brother. Now he confessed that he had quietly
made arrangements not to be entirely dependent on Edwin, though he
would have submitted to be supported by him more willingly than by any
one else. He had found an opportunity to learn turning, from a
neighbor, and in the space of a year the young apprentice had made so
much progress, that any master workman would gladly have engaged him
for a journeyman. With shamefaced consciousness, he showed Edwin
a number of pretty household utensils which he had made for his
foster-mother and the family of the teacher with whom he boarded. "I
see," said Edwin, smiling, "that I probably pursue the least lucrative
of all professions, and shall be doing a very good thing in forming a
partnership with my skillful brother. But wait, my lad, I won't fail to
add my contribution to the capital with which we begin. The next fee I
receive--I am coaching the weak-minded son of a count for his
examination--we will devote to the purchase of the best turning-lathe
that is to be found in all Berlin."
CHAPTER IV.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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