The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
But if Sunday filled us with this feeling, what must Monday have
done, when nature interfering, to triumph over the tyrants, gave
the people a fine day? Then did we see them loading every sort of
vehicle, on the inner and outer sides, driving horses, and donkeys,
and ponies, and riding them with all their speed and energy, to reach
the once-loved spot they had known in former days, and grieve all
together at our deplorable state.
When arrived there, how did they conduct themselves? They threw
themselves into the most extravagant postures, rolling down hills,
and running up again, throwing sticks even at oranges and cakes, in
hopes of getting something to allay their hunger and thirst--some
indeed we saw, decent-looking persons, devouring with avidity fish,
called eels, who themselves (poor victims!) are driven to wallow
in mud for their food, and first skinned alive, are next cut to
pieces, and finally exterminated by the hands of cooks as men are by
ministers.--What a striking resemblance there is between an Eel and
an Englishman!
At Richmond sorrow put on her deepest sables--hundreds of devoted
persons were crammed into vessels, encouraged by Government as
packets at our outports, in which the danger of being scalded to
death, burnt alive, or blown to atoms, are added to all the other
little _désagréments_ of the deep.
Steam-boats are what they call improvements. They may be in this
age of redundant population: but what Government is there on earth,
except ours, who, for the chance of thinning an overstocked nation,
could have had the barbarity to allow these craft to ply on the seas
and the rivers, which must wound the feelings and invade the rights
of those established captains of colliers and owners of coal-barges,
who, for centuries before, used to make their voyages satisfactorily
to themselves, but whose pride is now destroyed, and whose vessels
are treated like petitioners when applying for relief to the great
and mighty. Away puffs the nobleman and the steamer, and all the
suffering coal-bargemen or the needy applicant gets for his manual
labour, is a sight of the stern of either, and a tremulous sensation,
caused by the swell of their passing power.
But to return to the more immediate effects of misrule. The commons
and heaths round the metropolis were sought out, to change the
wretched scene; and Blackheath, Hampstead-heath, Hornsey-wood, and
Norwood, were covered with flocks of the populace, who had quitted
their houses in despair, and in one-horse chaises.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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