The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
They, and indeed all those particularly around London, seemed to join
in a determined manifestation of the crisis of affairs, which might,
if anything could, we should think, show Ministers the destruction,
to the brink of which they have brought desponding England. The same
threat, it is true, has been held out to all preceding Ministers
by sensible Reformers for the last century and a half; and they,
heartlessly and senselessly, have, without feeling, disbelieved
the cry; but when, to all the calamities of peace, are added
that curse of nations, plenty, the blow naturally received by an
increasing revenue, and a decreasing expenditure; and, above all, the
heartrending proofs of popular misery, which we have here selected;
we think the present administration, which has reduced us to this
debased, degraded, and unhappy state, will take warning in time. We
give them fair notice--we have done our duty in bringing the matter
before them--we shall say no more--if they are not wise enough to
take a hint, why "there's an end on't," and we give them up.
HINTS FOR THE LEVEE.
Dilworth's instructions to little boys and girls direct them "never
to be greedy, or swallow large pieces of meat, or eat hot pudding."
He, moreover, cautions them against many little improprieties
which shall be nameless; and concludes with this impressive
admonition--"never pick your nose in company."
We have not room for all the instructions in the Scots paper, which
occupy more than three columns; but we shall quote one or two, which
appear the most important.
"_Directions for going to a Levee._--Full suit, bag, sword--hair
powder is not held to be indispensable.
"Each individual will have two cards, one of which will be taken
care of by the pages in the ante-chamber, who will have the care of
the 'Court Record.' The stranger will then walk through the suite of
departments till he finds himself in that immediately joining the
presence chamber."
This, it will be perceived, is quite in the Dilworth style, excepting
that, instead of "not picking his nose," the pupil is here directed
to follow it; which, if he did, he would arrive at the room he
wanted, without such an elaborate description.
The account of the reception the stranger is to expect is not
prepossessing, although correct enough in point of fact:--
"The person on coming up to his Majesty drops one knee to the
King--the crowd being great he is immediately pushed forward."
This our readers will perceive (as it is expressed), must immediately
upset him at his Majesty's feet; and the great difficulty, instead of
not picking his nose, will be "not to break his nose in company." A
consolation is offered to the patient hereabouts, which is soothing
enough:--
"He may pay his respects _en passant_ to any of the Cabinet Ministers
with whom he is acquainted."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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