The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
"Methinks he seems no bigger than his head,
The fishermen that walk upon the beach
Appear like mice."
"This, again, I cannot quite agree to, for where we stood, they
looked exactly like men, only smaller, which I attribute to the
effect of distance--and then Mr. Fulmer said this--
"And yon tall anchoring bark
Diminished to her cock--her cock a boy!"
"This latter part I do not in the least understand, nor what Mr.
Fulmer meant by cock a boy--however, Lavinia seemed to comprehend it
all, for she turned up her eyes and said something about the immortal
bird of heaven--so I suppose they were alluding to the eagles, which
doubtless build their aviaries in that white mountain--(immortal bard
of Avon, the lady means).
"After dinner we read the Paris Guide, and looked over the list of
all the people who had been incontinent during the season, whose
names are all put down in a book at the inn, for the purpose--we went
to rest, much fatigued, knowing that we should be obliged to get up
early, to be ready for embrocation in the packet in the morning.
"We were, however, awake with the owl, and a walking a way before
eight, we went to see the castle--which was built, the man told us,
by Seizer, so called, I conclude, from seizing whatever he could lay
his hands on--the man said moreover that he had invaded Britain and
conquered it, upon which I told him that if he repeated such a thing
in my presence again, I should write to Mr. Peel about him.
"We saw the inn where Alexander, the Autograph of all the Russias,
lived when he was here, and as we were going along, we met twenty or
thirty dragons mounted on horses, the ensign who commanded them was a
friend of Mr. Fulmer's--he looked at Lavinia, and seemed pleased with
her _Tooting assembly_--he was quite a _sine qua non_ of a man, and
wore tips on his lips, like Lady Hopkins's poodle.
"I heard Mr. Fulmer say he was a son of Marr's; he spoke it as if
every body knew his father, so I suppose he must be the son of the
poor gentleman, who was so barbarously murdered some years ago, near
Ratcliffe Highway: if he is, he is uncommon genteel.
"At twelve o'clock we got into a boat and rowed to the packet; it was
very fine and clear for the season, and Mr. Fulmer said he should not
dislike pulling Lavinia about, all the morning: this I believe was a
naughtycal phrase, which I did not rightly comprehend, because Mr. F.
never offered to talk in that way on shore, to either of us.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account