The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
We met one of the Engines here from Cheltenham--he talks of returning
to some friend of his in Hingy, I think he called him Ben Gall. I
know he spoke very familiar of him. He has been at Stinkomalee, in
Sealong, and at the Island of Malicious, where a gentleman of the
name of Paul killed himself with Virginia. Our Engine said he was
at Malicious and at Bonbon at the time of the Conquest, which my
Trusler's Crononhotonthologos tells me was in the year 1072, which
makes his old appearance not surprising--he is very antick indeed--he
says he shall go out in a China ship, which sounds to me very
venturesome, but I suppose he knows what he is about--he is going to
Bombay, he tells us, to buy cotton, but that, between you and me, is
nonsense, because if that was all, why could he not go to Flint's, in
Newport-market, where they sells every sort of cotton, all done up in
nice boxes ready for use?
One thing I heard about hunting while I was at the Firm Hornee which
I thought shocking. There is a Squire Somebody which keeps a pack of
beadles, and there is ever so many of them--and they sleep in the
kennell every night, and a man is paid to whip them into it--but that
is not the worst--they feed them upon humane flesh. You would not
scarce credit this, but I heard my cousin say that he wondered this
hot weather did not hurt the dogs, for that they had nothing to feed
on but the Graves.--Do just touch them up for this--I am sure they
deserve it.
That selection for member of Parliament in Clare is very strange,
isn't it? Our old bow tells us that O'Connell can't take his place
because he won't swear against transportation, for he says it is one
thing for a Papist to stand and another for him to sit, which _enter
noo_ I could have told _him_--however, he says he thinks O'Connell
will go to the Pigeon House strait from the selection. Of course I
did not like to ask what he wanted to do in such a place as a Pigeon
House, and so the conversation dropped; indeed, the bow (as we call
him) told us such a strange story about Mr. O'Connell's getting to
the top of a pole the first day, and keeping up there for four days
afterwards, that I begin to think he tells tarrydiddles sometimes.
He is very agreeable though, and I believe he is rich, which is the
mane point when one has gurls to settle. He is always a making French
puns, which he calls cannon balls,[15] but I never shall be much of a
parley vous, I did not take to it early enough.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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