The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
I admit at first the Cabnet was in a quandary--that Polly Thomson
isn't poplar amongst them. I think they are jellies of Polly, for
he most certainly has talons--Fulmer says he nose he has--he is a
great ventriloquist (I think they call it), which speaks many forin
tongs--indeed, Fulmer sometimes calls him Pollyglot as well as Polly
Thomson, and he told me the other day that the King was going to
create him Barren Barilla, and sent him out Protector of Grease,
instead of Prince Loophole, who, as they call it, bagged out.
Then Lord Althrop--what a deal of good he has dun since he has bein
in Hoffys. Look at his entrenchments--he has cut down the odd eater
of the Civil List, and tuck off the dooty on koles--and wot a deal
more he would have dun if the axe of parlymen of hother dace had
not perwented him. And as for Lord Grey himself, I _do_ say sich a
kind-arted man as not been seen for ears and ears--not a sun, nor a
cussin, nor a nevy, nor a sun-in-law, nor a wife's cussin, nor one
hingyvigyal belonging to him, but wot he has perwided for, somehow or
another. Shew me a Prim Minster as hever hacted in sich a generous
way afore--Why the Duck of Wellington, with all his fine toe doos,
when he was in place, never guv nothing vhatsoever to any of his
relations as ever I heard of--ard-arted Duck.
And then that sweet Muster Cullcraft--a dear gentleman, full of
Janus, and as neat and as nice as a nine-pin--he is the Ugh!-nit
which guv the majority, and all by thinking twice, which is a wise
thing in a man--I was not at all surprized when I heard that the nice
crechur voted with the eyes--for, says I to my Lavy, he has very
little to say to the nose, anyhow. But he was always a favourite with
the ladies--a regalar Feel-hander amongst them. And then his pore sun
Granny too, to have lost his Love--more's the petty, for they are a
nice fam'ly take 'em all to gather--
"From grave to gay, from lively to Sevier."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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