The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
I hope Lord Bruffham and Fox comes up with your expectorations--he
certainly does with his hone--I went, the other night, into "Tommy's
box;" I don't know why they called the place so--it was like a vaper
bath, with certains all round it; and there I seed the Chanceseller
lying full-length on the Wulsack--(which I thought a hod thing to
have in sich a place)--and I am told he may be seen lying there every
night--when I say lying, I mean stretching,--and poor nobleman, no
wonder, for he must be a most tired out--wot with the intrests of
the nayshun, and the cawses in his Court, and the trouble he is
at to keep silence there--and carrion the bag--and riting leaden
articles in the noos-peppers, and his repeals, and one thing and
the other. Have you seen his pitcher in the Suffocating gallery of
Artists?--there he is, as like as like can be, but only carycachurd,
which is not to be wundered at, for the pitcher is panted by Lord
Lonsdale--(so the cattle-hog says)--and as his Lordship always
made him look blue on the pole, its no wunder he has made him look
yellow on the canvas--for blue and yellow is Bruffham's cullers. The
pictcher, however, is in the best place in the room, in complement
to the Lord Chanceseller--so that them as was ordered to hang his
Lordship, have done him only justass.
Then there is Lord Pummicestone--he is another of my feverits--
where did you ivir see such a Foraying Minster as he--so genteel--so
haymable--and with sich nice wiskers and white linen--never
interfeering the least with any nonsense about polyticks--never
sayin a word about his hoffice, either in Parlyment or out of it,
as I hears on; he troubles his head no more about the Belchians
and the Ditch, or the Roosians, or the Proossians, or hany of the
oosians, than I do. I'm told (by Parr and Tess) that there are no
hops for the Poles--their caws is desprut--at least so the Old
Engine we met last season at the sea side told me the day before
yesterday, as I seed him cumming out of the Horizontal Club in
Handover-square;--nevertheless, I think Lord Pummicestone is quite
wyse for not talkin--when one nose littel, it is the safest way to
say nothink. However, I may be preggudiced in his fever, for his
Lordship has promised to do the jalap wuth me, at an opp wich a
frend of ours in Taffystalk-square is to give next munth--I thoft
my duncing days was gun, but woo can resist Lord Pummicestone--that
would be a _task_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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