The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
How spent she her time abroad--Heigh, Ma'am, ho, Ma'am?
How spent she her time abroad, ho?
--In hugging her valet,
And dancing a ballet,
And kissing Pope Pius's toe----toe,
Kissing Pope Pius's toe.
Was she at Jerusalem--Heigh, Ma'am, ho, Ma'am?
Was she at Jerusalem, ho?
--She borrow'd an ass,
To ride on--but, alas!
She couldn't get donkey to go----go,
She couldn't get donkey to go.
What did she in Africa--Heigh, Ma'am, ho, Ma'am?
What did she in Africa, ho?
--She set, at Algiers,
All the Turks by the ears,
Till they found she was fifty or so----so,
Till they found she was fifty or so.
What did she in Lombardy--Heigh, Ma'am, ho, Ma'am?
What did she in Lombardy, ho?
--Her tradesmen she pilfer'd,
Bamboozled Lord Guilford,
And choused Marietti and Co.----Co.,
And choused Marietti and Co.
What did she at Napoli--Heigh, Ma'am, ho, Ma'am?
What did she at Napoli, ho?
--With sorrow I speak it,
She went, mother--naked,
And laurell'd the bust of King Joe----Joe,
And laurell'd the bust of King Joe.
Will she have a drawing-room--Heigh, Ma'am, ho, Ma'am?
Will she have a drawing-room, ho?
--Oh, yes, I presume,
That she might find a room,
If she could but find any to go----go,
If she could but find any to go.
Will she soon sail for Italy--Heigh, Ma'am, ho, Ma'am?
Soon sail for Italy, ho?
--She'll go there no more,
Since what Barbara swore,
She fears German spies on the Po----Po,
She fears German spies on the Po.
Will she go to Switzerland--Heigh, Ma'am, ho, Ma'am?
Will she go to Switzerland, ho?
--She says that the Swiss,
Never tell when they kiss,
So she's all for the Paÿs de Vaud----Vaud,
She's all for the Paÿs de Vaud.
HUNTING THE HARE.
Would you hear of the triumph of purity?
Would you share in the joy of the Queen?
List to my song; and, in perfect security,
Witness a row where you durst not have been:
All kinds of Addresses,
From collars of S.S.'s
To venders of cresses,
Came up like a fair;
And all thro' September,
October, November,
And down to December,
They hunted this Hare!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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