When it revived and he began to know and to feel once more, there was no
one with him, for the brothers were asleep in their beds and the dog was
in the courtyard, and the house was very quiet, for it was the middle of
the night. And then it came back to him, like a dream remembered in the
morning, that the Father had asked him to pray for Brother Paul that he
might fail in the errand on which he had sent him out into the world,
and though with his lips he had not promised, yet in his heart he had
undertaken to do so.
And being quite alone now, with no one but God for company, he went down
on his knees in his place by the door and clasped his hands together.
“O God,” he prayed, “have pity on Paul, and on me, and on all of us!
Keep him from all danger and suffering and from the snares and assaults
of the Evil One! Grant that he may never find his sister--or anybody who
knows her--or anybody who can tell him where she is and what has become
of her----”
But having got so far he could get no farther, for suddenly it occurred
to him that this was a prayer which concerned Glory and himself as well.
It was only then that he realized the magnitude and awfulness of the
task he had undertaken. He had undertaken to ask God that Paul might not
find Glory either, and therefore that he on his part might never hear of
her again. When he put it to himself like that, the sweat started from
his forehead and he was transfixed with fear.
He rose from his knees and sat on the form, and for a long hour he
laboured in the thought of a thousand possibilities, telling himself
of the many things which might befall a beautiful girl in a cruel and
wicked city. But then again he thought of Paul and of his former crime
and present temptation, and remembered the shadow that hung over the
Brotherhood.
“O God, help me,” he cried; “strengthen me, support me, guide me!”
He tried to frame another prayer, but the words would not come; he tried
to kneel as before, but his knees would not bend. How could he pray
that Glory also might be lost--that something might have happened to
her--that somewhere and in some way unknown to him----
No, no, a thousand times no! The prayer was impossible. Let come what
would, let the danger to Paul and to the Brotherhood be what it might,
let Satan and all his legions fall on him, yet he could not and would
not utter it.
XIII.
The stars were paling, but the day had not yet dawned, when there came
a knock at the door. John started and listened. After an interval the
knock was repeated. It was a timid, hesitating tap, as if made with the
tips of the fingers low down on the door.
“Praise be to God!” said John, and he drew the slide of the grating. He
had expected to see a face outside, but there was nothing there.
“Who is it?” he asked, and there came no answer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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