“Well, if I had known you felt like that I should scarcely have sent you
to Canon Wealthy. And yet I hardly know where else a young man of your
opinions ... I'm afraid the Church has a good many Canon Wealthys in
it.”
“God forbid!” said John. “No doubt there are Pharisees in these days
just as in the days of Christ, but the Church is still the pillar of the
State----”
“The caterpillar, you mean, boy--eating out its heart and its vitals.”
The Prime Minister gave another bitter little laugh, then looked quickly
into John's flushed face and said:
“But it's poor work for an old man to sap away a young man's
enthusiasm.”
“You can't do that, uncle,” said John, “because God is the absolute
ruler of all things, good and bad, and he governs both to his glory. Let
him only give us strength to endure our exile----”
“I don't like to hear you talk like that, John. I think I know what the
upshot will be. There's a gang of men about--Anglican Catholics they
call themselves; well, remember the German proverb, 'Every priestling
hides a popeling.' ... And if you _are_ to be in the Church, John, is
there any reason why you shouldn't marry and be reasonable? To tell you
the truth, I'm rather a lonely old man, whatever I may seem, and if your
mother's son would give me a sort of a grandson--eh?”
The Prime Minister was pretending to laugh again.
“Come, John, come, it seems a pity--a fine young fellow like you, too.
Are there no sweet young girls about in these days? Or are they all dead
and gone since I was a young fellow? I could give you a wide choice, you
know, for when a man stands high enough ... in fact, you would find
me reasonable--you might have anybody you liked, rich or poor, dark or
fair.----”
John Storm had been sitting in torment, and now he rose to go. “No,
uncle,” he said, in a thicker voice, “I shall never marry. A clergyman
who is married is bound to life by too many ties. Even his affection for
his wife is a tie. And then there is her affection for the world, its
riches, its praise, its honours.----”
“Well, well, we'll say no more. After all, it's better than running
wild, and that's what most young men seem to be doing nowadays. But
then your long education abroad--and your poor father left to look after
himself! Good-day to you. Come and see me now and then. How like your
mother you are sometimes! Good-day!”
When the door of the cabinet room closed on John Storm the Prime
Minister thought, “Poor boy, he's laying up for himself a big heartache
one of these fine days!”
And John Storm, going down the street with uncertain step, said to
himself: “How strange he should talk like that! But, thank God, he
didn't produce a flicker in me. I died to all that a year ago.”
Then he lifted his head and his footstep lightened, and deep in some
secret place the thought came proudly, “She shall see that to renounce
the world is to possess the world--that a man may be poor and have all
the kingdom of the world at his feet.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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