What would such godless infidels give us if the Almighty God should “pour the petroleum of authority upon their heads?” But, in all candor, what use has Col. Ingersoll for the _idea of authority coming from God_? Can’t he keep in his own ruts. “The DIVINE petroleum of authority was never poured upon the head of _Thomas Paine’s father_.” Well, so much the better for the reputation of God. But why does Mr. Ingersoll use the term God, and have so much to say of Him? Let us hear him. He says, whoever is a friend of man is also a friend of God—if there is one. Yes! “IS THERE IS ONE.” This reminds me of an old infidel who was struggling with the cramp colic, and just as a minister was approaching his bedside he turned himself over in the bed and said, O Lord, if there is any Lord, save my soul, if I’ve got any soul. The minister walked out. What is the condition of those minds which modify their declarations with the saying “if there is any Lord,” “if there is one,” “if I’ve got any soul.” How much more manly is it to own the great universal and instinctive or inate truth, that there is a Master, God, or great first Living Intelligence, and cease acting foolishly. Once more, the colonel, speaking of Thomas Paine’s work, says, “He was with the army. He shared its defeats, its dangers, and its glory. When the situation became desperate, when gloom settled upon all, he gave them the ‘Crisis.’ It was a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, leading the way to freedom, honor and glory.” What use has the colonel for such language? From whence did it come? Is he sitting upon the bones of Moses and making grimaces at the old prophet while he is adopting his sentences? Infidels blaspheme the name of Moses, and abuse his hyperboles and his facts as well, and, at the same time, go to his quiver to get their very best arrows. “At the close of the Revolution no one stood higher in America than Thomas Paine.”—_Ingersoll._ “At that time the seeds sown by the great infidels were beginning to bear fruit in France.”—_Ingersoll._