The singular clarity of the Bishop’s brain had annulled for him every
other emotion. He no longer felt any shock of revelation. The lucidity
of his thinking was like a physical sensation of actual daylight in the
room and beyond the windows. He saw the past as if it had been written
in a foreign tongue and with a new meaning, but he saw it as plainly as
black print on white paper. The woman before him was one whom he had
never known, but he read her soul, too, clear as a printed page. So
strangely clear his head, it seemed to him he could have laid his hand
on that wall of death Lucy had talked of, that it would have crumbled
at his touch, leaving him standing on the other side, in this same new
daylight, serene and unsurprised. So crystal his thoughts that words
seemed to him a remote and frivolous medium, like a grown man’s being
forced to rediscover his baby-lisp in order to make himself understood.
His personal pain had become merely a matter for reflection and limpid
analysis. Carried far on thought that ran deep and wide, the Bishop
spoke, hardly conscious of his words, “But love _loves_! It does not
hurt! You knew me and my faith in you and my hope through you. If you
had loved me, would you have destroyed for me that faith and hope?
Would you not have taken from my hand my boy and my town, to take care
of and to help, if you had loved me?”
They seemed to sit there as if looking on these words, in a silence
that grew palpitant. Then her cry broke, “Henry, I can be all that you
have believed, I can promise to try to do all that you desire. If you
ask me to do it for you! Do you?”
All in that strange daylight within his brain, the Bishop saw the
future, saw his work die with him. In the same white light he saw the
woman before him whom he had never known.
Lucy waited. God’s or hers? Yet why had she loved him except because
he had never been hers? The Bishop’s gaze rested upon her in a far
tranquillity of insight.
“No.”
He sat there, quiet as a portrait before her gaze, and all alone. She
had desired to rouse him from bodily weakness, and there was about
him now no taint of feebleness. He sat erect, his long hands tranquil
but not flaccid. A smile touched his lips, so fine and firm, a man’s
smile, not a child’s; a smile of thought in retrospect, neither bright
nor bitter. He had believed his lonely life cheered by a beautiful
friendship, so sacred that he had supposed it hallowed the shrines of
his God, of his wife, even as he did. This friendship had not been what
he thought it. Truth was well. He had no friend. There remained God.
“Henry!”
He looked over to her with a far, alien pity.
“Have I lost you, Henry? I was never mad before. To keep you I have
been for a lifetime so frightfully wise! Have I lost you now?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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