The Christmas Books of Mr. M.A. TitmarshThackeray, William Makepeace
General
The Christmas Books of Mr. M.A. Titmarsh
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Christmas stories, English
The supper is going on behind the screen. There is no need to draw
the supper. We all know that sort of transaction: the squabbling, and
gobbling, and popping of champagne; the smell of musk and lobster-salad;
the dowagers chumping away at plates of raised pie; the young lassies
nibbling at little titbits, which the dexterous young gentlemen procure.
Three large men, like doctors of divinity, wait behind the table, and
furnish everything that appetite can ask for. I never, for my part, can
eat any supper for wondering at those men. I believe if you were to
ask them for mashed turnips, or a slice of crocodile, those astonishing
people would serve you. What a contempt they must have for the guttling
crowd to whom they minister--those solemn pastry-cook's men! How they
must hate jellies, and game-pies, and champagne, in their hearts! How
they must scorn my poor friend Grundsell behind the screen, who is
sucking at a bottle!
This disguised green-grocer is a very well-known character in the
neighborhood of Pocklington Square. He waits at the parties of the
gentry in the neighborhood, and though, of course, despised in families
where a footman is kept, is a person of much importance in female
establishments.
Miss Jonas always employs him at her parties, and says to her page,
"Vincent, send the butler, or send Desborough to me;" by which name she
chooses to designate G. G.
When the Miss Frumps have post-horses to their carriage, and pay visits,
Grundsell always goes behind. Those ladies have the greatest confidence
in him, have been godmothers to fourteen of his children, and leave
their house in his charge when they go to Bognor for the summer. He
attended those ladies when they were presented at the last drawing-room
of her Majesty Queen Charlotte.
GEORGE GRUNDSELL,
GREEN-GROCER AND SALESMAN,
9, LITTLE POCKLINGTON BUILDINGS,
LATE CONFIDENTIAL SERVANT IN THE FAMILY OF
THE LORD MAYOR OF LONDON.
Carpets Beat.--Knives and Boots cleaned per contract.--Errands
faithfully performed--G. G. attends Ball and Dinner parties,
and from his knowledge of the most distinguished Families in
London, confidently recommends his services to the
distinguished neighbourhood of Pocklington Square.
Mr. Grundsell's state costume is a blue coat and copper buttons, a white
waistcoat, and an immense frill and shirt-collar. He was for many years
a private watchman, and once canvassed for the office of parish clerk
of St. Peter's Pocklington. He can be intrusted with untold spoons; with
anything, in fact, but liquor; and it was he who brought round the cards
for MRS. PERKINS'S BALL.
AFTER SUPPER.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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