The Christmas Books of Mr. M.A. TitmarshThackeray, William Makepeace
General
The Christmas Books of Mr. M.A. Titmarsh
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Christmas stories, English
A hundred of knocks follow Frederick Minchin's: in half an hour Messrs.
Spoff, Pinch, and Clapperton have begun their music, and Mulligan, with
one of the Miss Bacons, is dancing majestically in the first quadrille.
My young friends Giles and Tom prefer the landing-place to the
drawing-rooms, where they stop all night, robbing the refreshment-trays
as they come up or down. Giles has eaten fourteen ices: he will have a
dreadful stomach-ache to-morrow. Tom has eaten twelve, but he has had
four more glasses of negus than Giles. Grundsell, the occasional waiter,
from whom Master Tom buys quantities of ginger-beer, can of course deny
him nothing. That is Grundsell, in the tights, with the tray. Meanwhile
direct your attention to the three gentlemen at the door: they are
conversing.
1st Gent.--Who's the man of the house--the bald man?
2nd Gent.--Of course. The man of the house is always bald. He's a
stockbroker, I believe. Snooks brought me.
1st Gent.--Have you been to the tea-room? There's a pretty girl in the
tea-room; blue eyes, pink ribbons, that kind of thing.
2nd Gent.--Who the deuce is that girl with those tremendous shoulders?
Gad! I do wish somebody would smack 'em.
3rd Gent.--Sir--that young lady is my niece, sir,--my niece--my name is
Blades, sir.
2nd Gent.--Well, Blades! smack your niece's shoulders: she deserves it,
begad! she does. Come in, Jinks, present me to the Perkinses.--Hullo!
here's an old country acquaintance--Lady Bacon, as I live! with all the
piglings; she never goes out without the whole litter. (Exeunt 1st and
2nd Gents.)
LADY BACON, THE MISS BACONS, MR. FLAM.
Lady B.--Leonora! Maria! Amelia! here is the gentleman we met at Sir
John Porkington's.
[The MISSES BACON, expecting to be asked to dance, smile simultaneously,
and begin to smooth their tuckers.]
Mr. Flam.--Lady Bacon! I couldn't be mistaken in YOU! Won't you dance,
Lady Bacon?
Lady B.--Go away, you droll creature!
Mr. Flam.--And these are your ladyship's seven lovely sisters, to judge
from their likenesses to the charming Lady Bacon?
Lady B.--My sisters, he! he! my DAUGHTERS, Mr. Flam, and THEY dance,
don't you, girls?
The Misses Bacon.--O yes!
Mr. Flam.--Gad! how I wish I was a dancing man!
[Exit FLAM.
MR. LARKINS.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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