The Christmas Story from David HarumWestcott, Edward Noyes
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The Christmas Story from David Harum
Westcott, Edward Noyes
Christmas stories
Here David leaned over toward Aunt Polly and said, protestingly, "Don't
gi' me but jest a teasp'nful o' that ice cream. I'm so full now 't I
can't hardly reach the table." He took a taste of the cream and resumed:
"I can't give it jest as Dick did," he went on, "but this is about the
gist on't. Him, an' Lize, an' Am went to Parson White's about half after
seven o'clock an' was showed into the parler, an' in a minute he come
in, an' after sayin' 'Good evenin'' all 'round, he says, 'Well, what c'n
I do fer ye?' lookin' at Am an' Lize, an' then at Dick.
"'Wa'al,' says Am, 'me an' Mis' Annis here has ben thinkin' fer some
time as how we'd ought to git married.'
"'_Ought_ to git married?' says Parson White, scowlin' fust at one an'
then at t'other.
"'Wa'al,' says Am, givin' a kind o' shuffle with his feet, 'I didn't
mean _ortter_ exac'ly, but jest as _well_--kinder comp'ny,' he says. 'We
hain't neither on us got nobody, an' we thought we might 's well.'
"'What have you got to git married on?' says the dominie after a minute.
'Anythin'?' he says.
"'Wa'al,' says Am, droppin' his head sideways an' borin' into his ear
'ith his middle finger, 'I got the promise mebbe of a job o' work fer a
couple o' days next week.' 'H'm'm'm,' says the dominie, lookin' at him.
'Have _you_ got anythin' to git married on?' the dominie says, turnin'
to Lize. 'I've got ninety cents comin' to me fer some work I done last
week,' she says, wiltin' down on to the sofy an' beginnin' to snivvle.
Dick says that at that the dominie turned round an' walked to the other
end of the room, an' he c'd see he was dyin' to laugh, but he come back
with a straight face.
"'How old air you, Shapless?' he says to Am. 'I'll be fifty-eight or
mebbe fifty-nine come next spring,' says Am.
"'How old air _you_?' the dominie says, turnin' to Lize. She wriggled a
minute an' says, 'Wa'al, I reckon I'm all o' thirty,' she says."
"All o' thirty!" exclaimed Aunt Polly. "The woman 's most 's old 's I
be."
David laughed and went on with, "Wa'al, Dick said at that the dominie
give a kind of a choke, an' Dick he bust right out, an' Lize looked at
him as if she c'd eat him. Dick said the dominie didn't say anythin' fer
a minute or two, an' then he says to Am, 'I suppose you c'n find
somebody that'll marry you, but I cert'inly won't, an' what possesses
you to commit such a piece o' folly,' he says, 'passes my understandin'.
What earthly reason have you fer wantin' to marry? On your own showin','
he says, 'neither one on you 's got a cent o' money or any settled way
o' gettin' any.'
[Illustration]
"'That's jes' the very reason,' says Am, 'that's jes' the _very
reason_. I hain't got nothin', an' Mis' Annis hain't got nothin', an' we
figured that we'd jes' better git married an' settle down, an' make a
good home fer us both,' an' if that ain't good reasonin'," David
concluded, "I don't know what is."
"An' be they actially married?" asked Mrs. Bixbee, still incredulous of
anything so preposterous.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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