Is there no sincerity, then, in "Christian Science"? Of course there is. Even the "discoverer and founder" of it undoubtedly believes certain of its asseverations. Mrs. Mary Baker Eddy must be credited, for instance, with the conviction that she has some knowledge of "metaphysics"--a conviction that is nothing worse than a pitiable mistake, which is exploded here at some length. When, as a result of this mistake, she teaches that matter is nothing--not even a condition of anything--only sincerity can account for such lunacy. Yet herein "Christian Science" has its whole rational, or rather irrational, breath of life. Some "Christian Scientists" sincerely believe in an equivalent for "black magic." As, in their view, "concentration of mind" can cure disease, they think it can also throw disease upon enemies, or upon backsliders from "science." It has been suggested even to the present writer that illness might be cast upon him if he antagonized "the true faith." According to certain dissidents from "Christian Science," "black magic," though with much talk of "chastening love"--(every crime of religious hypocrisy is always committed in the name of "love")--has been persistently tried on heretical wanderers. In the natural course of time some of them are dead; but those whom I have met are not only living, they are comfortably fat. As "Christian Science" has to me no genuine basis, either in facts, science, theology, metaphysics or therapeutics, but is a mendacious, contradictory, pretentious humbug, I do not hesitate to use such weapons, whether narration, logic, or satire, as are adapted to puncture it. We hear that "Christian Science" has done good. So it has, in some instances, but only through means which it pretends to repudiate, and through the trustful ignorance of those who have been duped by it. We hear, also, that "Christian Scientists" are specially "educated and intelligent." I deny it. No one of them seems ever to have heard of the history of philosophy--a cemetery in which have long lain buried the most of "Mother" Eddy's "divine revelations," "original discoveries" and "absolute demonstrations." Her followers can doubtless _read_, or they would not be available as purchasers of her _Science and Health_; but, if they could _think_, they never would have read the book through. From beginning to end, it is simply a batch of self-contradictions and self-nullities. These are capped with the most impudent claim ever uttered on earth--the claim that the human mind in its natural state cannot comprehend the divine mind incarnate in the author. If caustic is applied to such nonsense, there is no need of apology. The only doubt is that the malefaction is worth the burning. G. C. THE CHURCH OF ST. BUNCO. CHAPTER I. A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW OF THE THING. The date of this writing is the year 1901.