The City Bride (1696): Or, The Merry CuckoldHarris, Joseph
General
The City Bride (1696): Or, The Merry Cuckold
Harris, Joseph
English drama
_Sum._ No faith, Madam, I'm but a Beginner in this same Business, and am
wholly unprovided of any Pick-lock Tools besides this Sword.
[_Draws his Sword._
_Ara._ O, good Sir, do not shew me that, 'tis too frightful; pray hurt
me not, for I do yield them freely: Use your Hands, perhaps their
strength will serve to tear 'em from me without more ado. Some Pain I'll
quietly endure, provide you do not hurt me much.
_Sum._ Alas, dear Lady, I'll use you as gently as I can upon my Word;
but 'tis devilish strong.--If I hurt you, pray speak.
[_He endeavours to break the Chain about her Neck._]
_Ara._ Not much, Sir.
_Sum._ I am glad on't,--S'death, I can't do it.
[_She draws his Sword, and stands upon her Guard._
_Ara._ No Sir, nor shall not now: You a Highway-man and guard your self
no better: Come, Sir, what Money have you? Deliver quickly.
_Sum._ Not a Cross by this foolish Hand of mine!
_Ara._ How, no Money, 'twere pity then to take this from thee; Here,
take it again, I know you'l use me ne're the worse for what I have done.
[_Gives him his Sword again._]
_Sum._ No, by my Life!
_Ara._ I do believe you; and now pray hear me--Here on my Knees, in
sight of Heaven, I make this solemn Protestation, That if you'l but
forbear the Rifling of this Chain and Bracelets, and go but with me
Home, by all the Vows which I this Day have plighted to my dearest
Husband, I will deliver you in Money the full Value of these I wear,
and cannot for my Life get off.
_Sum._ Ha! Ready-money is the Prize I look for; it passes without
suspicion every where, when Chains and Jewels are often stop'd and
call'd for before the Magistrate: But----
_Ara._ Nay never doubt! You saw I gave you my Advantage up, and
questioned not my safety at your hands, pray fear not yours in mine.
_Sum._ I know not what to do.
_Ara._ Pray tell me, Sir, did you ever think a Woman true?
_Sum._ I have heard of some, but very few.
_Ara._ Will you add one more to your belief?
_Sum._ I think I may, for they were fewer than the Articles of my Faith,
therefore I have room for you, and will believe you--Yet stay, you say
you'l ransom your jewels with Ready-money when you come Home; so you
may, and then discover me.
_Ara._ Shall I repeat the Vows I made?
_Sum._ No, for I'll trust you; and if you do betray me, then Mercy upon
me, and Farewel. I knew a Gentleman that had been a Courtier at
_Whitehall_ fifteen Years, and he was buried e're he took a Bride: 'Tis
very strange you'l say; and may be my Case in another way.
_Ara._ Come, Sir, never fear: A Man and afraid; Fie, fie!
_Sum._ Give me your Hand, I'll wait on you; and if you are (as I believe
you) True and Just, you are the World's Wonder! Come, Madam.
[_Exeunt._
SCENE II.
_Enter two Boys, one with a Child in his Arms._ Compass _on the other
side._
_1 Boy._ _Jack_, Who's this?
_2 Boy._ O _Jeminy_! I'll be hang'd if it ben't Goodman _Compass_, that
they said was dead three Years ago.
_1 Boy._ Od's Life, and so it is!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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